- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
This past February, FI’s younger brother (21) moved in with us when he parents bought a house about 40 mintues away. We have a very large apartment, one bathroom. Overall there’s a lot of space for everyone so I didn’t really see it as being too much of a problem.
FI’s younger brother has had some pretty serious tantrums in the past. And it’s something that I’ve really never dealt with, I’ve grown up with all sisters. This is basically him yelling “FUCK YOU FUCK OFF!!!” to anyone when he is criticised or confronted.
Well, there was an incident a few weeks ago that started with something so silly. He had been drinking a bit (we were at a family party) and picked up our dog without supporting her (she’s small-medium sized) and I asked for him to please put her down (she’s skiddish and quick). He didn’t. So I asked a few more times, and this made him really upset and he went right to bed after.
This lead to a lot of tension in the house and my FI and I decided we needed to have a house talk. It did NOT go well. Immediately he started yelling at us, saying that we were conspiring against him and he started packing up his things (2 mintues into a conversation). I tried telling him nicely we just wanted to talk, and he yelled “FUCK YOU!!” to my FI and looked me square in the eye and yelled “FUCK OFF!!!!!” I took a break from everything, and when I came back in he said something really rude to FI, and I said strenly “You need help. You know what? You can just leave.” He said fuck you again. I cried outside. We didn’t speak for a few days.
Now, Fi and brother work together, go to the gym together, And live together, so they spend a lot of time together. FI’s brother hasn’t been able to keep friends over time because of this problem. We also took him on vacation with us since his parents didn’t take a family vacation this year.
He did apologize to me, and when I tried talking to him about it he said that this was really just a one time incident. I overall accepted the apology. By now, I really can’t help but have loads of anxiety when he is around, I just don’t want to be around him. I’m really bad at confrontation and people being mad and I think that there is lingering feelings from that blow-out.
I’m overall worried this will put a strain on mine and FI’s relationship. It really causes me so much distress, but we both don’t know what to do. FI is more over it than I am, maybe since he understands his brother better. But am I just being over sensitive? 🙁