FI's younger brother living with us, not working out very well….

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee

@windofadream:  Do you even want him living with you guys? Why can’t he get his own place? I love my brother but he moved in with me and became obnoxious so I had to kick him out.

Post # 4
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@windofadream:  You know… apology or no, you can just go into a rage and tell me to fuck off in my own home. There are consequences to being an asshole. One of those is alienating yourself from people who otherwise care for you.

 

It’s time for little brother to get an apartment. I would have meant it when I said he could find somewhere else to stay.

Post # 5
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Actions have consequences. If your FI’s brother hasn’t figured that out by now someone needs to teach him that lesson and it might as well be you two. Make your expectations known (and clear) and explain the consequences if those expectations are not met. If you do X, Y will occur. For instance, “If you don’t pick up the dog properly and either one of you get hurt you will be paying all of the medical bills. And if the dog was the one injured you will not be allowed to return to our home with the one day exception when you may come and retrieve your things.” Make it abundantly clear that he is a guest, not a resident in your home. 

Post # 7
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think it’s time for him to go.

Post # 8
Member
1178 posts
Bumble bee

@windofadream:  You almost sound like you are becoming parents to him. He is 21 years old and he should be on his own or move in with his friends. My sister is 25 and is 10 years younger than me and I struggle with trying not to baby her. I kicked my brother out of my apartment years ago for similar behaviour. That is disrespectful to treat you like that after you took him into your home.

Post # 9
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Don’t make idle threats.  You told him to leave and obviously didn’t follow through – no wonder he doesn’t respect you.  He acts like a child, so he deserves to be treated like a child.  Talk to him calmly and tell him that that was his warning.  The next time he acts like that you’ll expect him to leave when asked.  

Post # 10
Member
1574 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My partner’s brother (although this one is older) lived with us for a little less than a year (I think 8-9 months?). It was one of the worst decisions! Our circumstances were different and he didn’t rage at us, however he was very disrespectful (although it may have been more unconscious – but he did NOTHING around the house and lived here for free). Why does the brother live with you? You said that he moved in b/c the parents moved further away, but why not just go from the nest to his own place? Can he afford his own place?

Post # 12
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If my brother in law told me to fuck off while he was living in my house he’d find his shit on the curb.  My house, my rules. 

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