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I had a list. It was funny because I had formed it around some other guys I had liked, but then in walks FI into my life and blew me away. He just happens to fit the bill too. :-)
I never had a "type" of guy that I dated. For me it had more to do with his character, personality, morals, things like that.
But I also believe that you have to be physically attractive because that's what first draws you to that person.
I never had a "list", and I didn't think I'd get married until I"m in my 30's. But at 23, I met my now-husband and instantly knew that he was the one I was gonna marry. And I wasn't ready to get married then, but I knew that I did get married, he would be the one.
I didn't have a list then but now that I think about it, if I had a list then, my husband would probably fit the bill :)
I never had a list- or if I did- FI didn't really fit into it. FI felt right to me, and happened naturally, and maybe that was the biggest thing on my list. I always thought I would marry someone completely different, but he feels right to me.
I did, however, have some must-haves. He must be outdoor, and enjoy fishing, camping, hiking, and hunting. That was one thing that was an absolute MUST for me, and FI fit that!
I didn't have anything specific written down as well ( Hair, eyes, height) but I think where it really counted, values and personality, he fit the mold of what I wanted.
I don't think I really had a set "list", but it seems like all my guys had something in common:
Dark Hair
Tall (-1)
Brown eyes (-1)
(LOL, Tall, Dark and Handsome! hahaha)
I think my SO has everything i have imagined...when i was little i used to have this imaginary (inspired by my love for Disney movies) prince...we were the king and queen of our country...when i started dating i always realized the similarities between my dates and him...my SO happens to be TOO much like him..actually they r so much alike (even their names starts with the same letter) that this is mainly the first time i am remembering him :)
on the side note my mother's list of what her dream man looks like was: tall, dark skinned, dark eyes, and dark hair...walks in my dad= medium height (5'10) , VERY PALE, hazel eyes, light brown hair....opposite of her list hahaha ...and she wanted him to be much like her father when it comes to personality BUT the only thing my dad has in common with my lovely grandfather is how calm they r and how they hardly ever get mad .
I wish my mom stuck to her "list" cs she ended up with someone opposite of herself and they are just not meant for one another :)
Actually, I had a list of the opposite: "Things I would absolutely not accept in a mate." I've never had a type, so I found that this was very important in deciding if someone was a keeper. If he could check one thing on the list, he was out.
I wish more women did this.
@lolaj and picturemeurs - exactly the same with me, never a type, just certain key personality/character (and more emphasis on character) traits.
@cbee - I love the way you put that, him just feeling right.
@butterflylover - oh no about your mom, although I can't quite tell if you are serious...did they not work out?
@bree72 - that is smart. People should know their dealbreakers ahead of time!
I had a list. I wrote it in college (about 4 years before I met FI) and my mom found it and brought it to me last month. I even wrote "NO COMPROMISES" on it! I read it out loud to FI and he fits every one :)
I had a few superficial requirements, like hight. I wanted someone a foot taller than me (I'm short - only 5'0), at least 6'0. My SO told me he was that hight, he lied, he's only 5'11. I joke about kicking him to the curb for that.
Other than that I had an idea in my head of the type of man I wanted, but I didn't realize how that person would come together until I met my SO. He's a total sports, beer drinking, mechanic guy. But he's rather quiet, extremely intelligent and so sweet. He's not really the type to fight but the type that would step up and defend me if needed. He loves his family and will do anything for them, but they don't control his life. He also is a individual with his own tastes, likes, feelings and personality, but he puts up with my dominating nature and knows how to make me happy without backing down and conforming to what I say/want/am.
As I was getting to know him, it amazed me more and more each day how he is exactly the guy I would have described I wanted, but I never would have thought the complete package would have been him. Kind of like I couldn't see the forest through the trees until I met him. Don't know if that makes sense. But I do know I'm madly in love with him and he is the best guy for me.
I had a list but now I've realized its more of a feeling. I never understood the old "you'll know when you know" saying. But now I do. I'm so happy in my relationship and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him
FH actually had a list from two years before we started dating. We joke that I’m a 10.5 out of 11 because I do not completely fit the “loves to sing and dance”- I am horribly self-conscious about my singing voice.
FH fits the “type” I’ve typically been attracted to (blue eyes, Christian, geeky) but in other ways he fits me better than I knew I wanted. When I entered college I knew I didn’t want to date my ex- well, his brain really. Most of my friends growing up were in gifted with me, so I’ve always been used to a certain level of thinking- and spending a great deal of time with someone who simply cannot get there made me feel hindered.
Of course if you go by that life plan I made in 11th grade Health- I would be “finding time to marry” sometime in my late 20’s-early 30’s, once I had at least started on my post-graduate work- not when I’m 20, about to finish undergrad!
I just knew I needed to find someone who did not make gross noises when he ate. Honestly, chewing with your mouth open or smacking your lips would end it all for me!
I had a list of what I wanted and didn't want, based on past relationships. I had been in abusive relationships and decided to make a list and I swore off dating for six months.
Six months later to the day, I met FI. :) He fit the bill alright!
I was just talking about this the other day because my 16 year old FSIL was talking about all her future requirements! I had a very, very short list when I was younger, just the sort of superficial stuff you pick out. And the funny thing is, my FI actually doesn't fit the "important ones."
Nice teeth -- I hate my own teeth and used to really care. Ironically, this is FI's worst feature. I have said before that I swear he could be a model if not for his awful teeth. He is missing one and the rest have spaced out to make up for it. He has crystal blue eyes and a nice square jaw, so I am not going to dwell on his teeth!
Nice voice -- I took voice lessons for years and love it. I find talented male voices very attractive, even when the man in question is questionable. (My well documented love of Terrence Mann -- It's not like he's bad looking, but this was the '90s...) Yes, well, FI can't carry a tune in a bucket. Oh, well... I guess we won't be singing the finale to B&tB at our wedding haha.
But the sort of generic things like handsome, funny, kind, patient... he fits those! Regardless, I love him. :)
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I was fascinated by Mrs. Penguin's story on the blog today about how she knew that her husband was the man she wanted to marry. I'm curious how many of you had a similar list that your spouse-to-be could fit the bill for? And if he or she did?
I guess there were some personality traits and morals that were important to me - funny, smart, big heart, passionate about his job - but never any specifics like height or hobbies or job or background or eye/hair/whatever color.
How about you?