Five Days w/ Disgruntled Family Members over Lost Invites

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

ShabbyChicBee:  Did FMIL not see the guest list before invitations went out and honestly thought you didn’t invite these cousins? Did you not require RSVPs?

Bottom line is this – you can’t control the mail, you fixed the situation as soon as you find out. If they are all mad at you over this, then that is absolutely ridiculous on their part. You just have to take comfort in the fact that you’ve done what you can to fix it and then drop it. 

Post # 3
Hostess
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

that completely sucks – and I know how you feel, we know of 1 that’s gone missing so I’m been frantically trying to check and make sure people received theirs (we’re still 7 weeks to the wedding).

There’s not much more you can do other than appologize and blame the mail…

Post # 4
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It would’ve been nice for them to mention at some point in the last six and a half weeks that they didn’t receive their invitations. We heard immediately that FI’s aunt didn’t get hers at exactly the same time FMIL did and how could we possibly have put the wrong zip code on it and didn’t she tell us about this about this after the save the dates went out and we should probably give her an extra one because now she’ll never get it.

Is there a way you could scan a copy of the invitation and email it to them so your bases are even extra covered? 

Post # 5
Member
13021 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You apologized, there’s not much more you can do imo, they just need to get the f*ck over it.  It’s not like you can control the mail.  Do they need proof they were invited or something??  Maybe you should bring a copy of your guest list to show them they were definitely on there and you didnt NOT invite them and are just trying to put them in now.

Kidding… kind of….

Post # 6
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

There’s a side to me that says anyone who feels SO entitled to attend a wedding that they’ll express how pissed off they are at not getting an invitation from the get-go (rather than assuming some sort of postal error has been made) could jolly well stay pissed off!

However, that’s not a mature, gracious, or sensible way to deal with the problem so I think you just have to express, again, how sorry you are that they are amongst SEVERAL OTHER guests who also failed to receive the invitations they were sent. Having discovered this very unfortunate failure in the postal service you immediately rectified it. Hence your call to them.

If they can’t accept your perfectly reasonable apology then yes, move the fuck on. Clearly they would far rather enjoy playing the victim than they would support your wedding. 

Post # 7
Member
935 posts
Busy bee

ShabbyChicBee:  you cant help what gets lost in the mail. I would apologize again, but if they are still pissed off then its really whatever. no need to be stressing over it especially when you made it clear they were invited.  it is reallly unfortunate though especially this close to the wedding.

are these cousins just now coming forward less than a week until the wedding or did they state a month ago they didnt get invites ? If this occurred a month ago then I can kind of see why they would be a little ticked off because it clearly has not been rectified even though its less than a week out..

Post # 9
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

 

ShabbyChicBee:  I can kind of understand that they’re a little skeptical that several invitations from their side of the family were lost, HOWEVER, they have acted very rudely.  They are not entitled to an invitation and should certainly be gracious enough to accept your apology.

As for what you should do – well, the invitations were lost.  You can explain again – if asked – that you mailed the invitations and you don’t know why they weren’t received, that you are mortified so you called and apologized and invited them and resent new invitations.  You’ve done all you can do.  Don’t let them roast you over the coals for this or place all the blame on YOU.  Your FI should absolutely deal with this – its his family.

Post # 10
Member
7285 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Zhabeego:  Your FI should absolutely deal with this – its his family.<br /><br />100% don’t get involved any further than you are. You will end up getting the brunt of the bad feelings. They are acting ridiculous but you have no control over how they choose to react. 

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