Post # 1
I totally loved my perfectly acceptible to us elopement. I dont LIKE being the center of attention, I dont WANT a bunch of people around! (my 10 person guest list is pushing my boundries as is) All I wanted was to have a pretty dress and a simple, short, intimate ceremony. I feel like this whole wedding this is almost akin to having these people in the room watching us have sex. Its PERSONAL. It’s about US.
I don’t want a party, I don’t want to plan things, I don’t want to worry about FI’s family not being drinkers and half my family are bartenders(or were), about planning activites so no one gets bored, and worrying about photographers, and cakes (I DONT FUCKING LIKE CAKE!) who to invite, because so and so and her man invited us to their wedding a year ago but she hates that skank bridesmaid of yours who isnt so maid like anyway and granny god love her cant walk far anyhow and I hate those damn kids of his friends who totally have to come because his ex wife cant get off her lazy ass and watch them one WHOLE WEEKEND BY HERSELF.
Invites, Save the dayes, recption, dancing, I want a cocktail NOW!, Shoes and rings and veils and things, and whos going to watch my cats? No I dont want flowers I have allergies, why the hell do I throw flowers at people anyway? Only my husband should see my garters!, who pays for plane tickets?, where they hell are they going to stay? Not my problem, but shit it’s his mom so it IS my problem.
I want MY cabin at the little getaway bed and breafast and carriage ride and dinner. THATS IT.
Make the crazy people leave me alone Bees! My family REFUSES to even consider an elopement.
Post # 3
You know the fun thing about an elopement? It is often done in the face of families who have nothing but good intentions!
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission. I say go disappear for a weekend, have YOUR elopement (But take a few pictures for the parents, eh?).
Post # 4
@HisLittleRed: I feel ya, honey.
Post # 5
your family can’t refuse your elopement. Your the Bride, and an adult, family or not do what YOU want and what makes you and your husband happy. Don’t cave in over grief from others because your the one who is going to remember all the details of your day the rest of your life. Your guests will seldom think of your wedding after it’s over so you don’t want your day to be one you look back on as something you did want or feel comfortable with. Everyone else will have to get over it:)
Post # 6
It’s not as bad as it sounds, I know that in my head. And really we could reach a compromise of only four people at our wedding.
My mom and my sister, His mom and his brother. It’s everyone else THEY want to invite. Like my gandma, who, though I LOVE her dearly, does not leave her house for anything. she is a hermit. I understand and go see her when she calls and we are both fine with that. Granny would not want to come. I know she wouldn’t. My sister wants to invite her boyfriend, and our best friend of 20 some odd years and her husband, and then my sisters boyfriend’s best friends (who i dont know). Look, My best friend had an elopement and only invited ME and my FI. We went, SHE understands why I dont want everyone around and totally suggested the B&B elopement package I fell in love with. I wanted her and her hubby to be our witnesses.
It’s just all rolled down hill. If I invite kitty and her husband, then my sister will want to come and then obviously I have to invite mom and then FI’s family should come too and……….on and on and on. And my sister guilt tripping me “Mom would be CRUSHED FOREVER AND EVER if she didnt walk you down the asile!”
Asile? What asile?! I didnt want an asile!!!
And no Kitty does not hate anyone else on the list, that was just me cracking a joke.
Post # 7
RUN @HisLittleRed:!!!! RUN!!! Go get your elopement! I was mentally screaming “Hell yea! You go girl!! Runn off and do it your way!”
Frank Sinatra would be proud if you did it your way!
Post # 8
Post # 9
May I suggest a surprise wedding? Invite the people that YOU want to be at your wedding for a nice dinner, and surprise them with a ceremony first!
Post # 10
My FI is the one who refuses to do an elopement…to please his familiy. He’s afraid of pissing them off. My family would be pissed too, but I’m not afraid of them.
And he refuses to help at all with planning the wedding. He is working on saving money for it, but that’s it. No other input. It’s totally ruined any enthusiasm I had for it. He keeps referring to it as my day and all he has to do it show up. All I want is an elopement now. Maybe I won’t plan anything either….we’ll both just show up the day of and see what happens, lol!
Post # 11
Take in the reins. Elope or have a surprise tiny wedding. Done.
Post # 12
@HisLittleRed: I love your avatar it’s one of me and my FI’s favourite quotes and I think I want it on our invites! Also giggled at the ‘flailing’ part of the title of your thread!
I would try and explain to him that a wedding is about you and him. I personally would only want me and my FI and our parents as the MAX at our wedding and I’m already dropping hints so when we speak about our plans next year he wont be surprised.
Tell him how you want it to be special between yourselves and you could throw a party for everyone when you get back?
Post # 13
Yeah…. this all worries me too 🙁
Post # 14
I, too, would prefer to run off to Vegas and purchase one of their darling packages at the Bellagio or something. Instead, my fiance is a down-home country boy, and he feels compelled to include his ENTIRE FAMILY. That’s about 180 people, all of whom are related to him, and who would apparently be devestated about not attending his wedding. (Boo!) Unfortunately, we don’t have the means to do the ‘big fancy wedding’ thing, so we’re keeping the costs down as much as possible.
I don’t care so much about the wedding. I care about getting married to HIM. So I go along with what’s important to him in this arena. Plus, he’s saved just enough to handle the big parts: wedding venue, reception venue, food. All the trinkety little details will be up to me. And me is a cheap scrooge! (Yay!)
I come from a non-wedding family. I don’t think anyone in living memory has had anything other than a courthouse wedding. We don’t know much about them, and have no strong feelings toward having them. So things like ‘what type of flowers are you going to have?’ makes me think ‘Why have flowers at all?’
I’m right there with ya, sister. Word.
Post # 15
Go elope! Or the surprise wedding is a good idea too. It’s your day, your life, your memories. Do it YOUR way!
Post # 16
Also, your dress is way cool!