(Closed) flaky bridesmaid, so confused and hurt

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Have you tried calling rather then texting?

I know I rarely respond to texts. Sometimes I will look at it and think okay I will respond later. Then I forget. But then I am not a “texting” type of person.

Post # 5
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

What do you text her about?  Do either of you ever try to spend any time together instead of just texting all the time?

Post # 6
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sounds like this is a friendship issue rather than a bridesmaid issue.  If you talk to her about it, do so as a friend concerned about the relationship.  To be honest, you “checkin in” with her telling her that if she didn’t want to be in the wedding it was ok, but you needed to know so you could ‘replace’ her was not very gracious.  That makes it sound like she is replaceable in your life.  Perhaps she is upset by those remarks, or perhaps she is truly busy, as you said.

Post # 8
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Chanel87:  I think it is reasonable to feel hurt if you feel like you are making an effort to at least catch up via text (since talking on the phone is a pain, which I get – I’m in a different time zone than my friends back home and it’s hard to talk) and she’s basically like “Whatever” and just ignoring you.

I say continue to make the effort to be her friend and spend time with her and if she continues to bail on everything then maybe it is time to re-evaluate your friendship and her place in the wedding.

Post # 9
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you should try to distance yourself a little from her. Clearly she isn’t interested in maintaining the friendship you had before and she’s rejecting all of your attempts to restore it.

This doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends, you just have to accept that the frienship has changed at least for the short term. I would lay off the texting and attempts to hang out with her for now and let some time pass before you speak to her next.

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