Post # 1
I am planning a bachelorette party this fall and let all the bridesmaids and other girls know the dates and costs over 2 months ago. Now I just got word from 2 of the bridesmaids that they can’t come (only after I emailed them to get confirmations). Neither of them had mentioned the dates being a problem, or the costs, and didn’t even let me know why they can’t come. They both live in the area of the party, while I am travelling 2000 miles to be there. Am I wrong in thinking that part of a bridesmaid’s duties is to attend the bachelorette party, not to mention help plan and pay for it?
Post # 3
No, your not wrong. This happened at my best friends bachelorette. One of the BM had just had her baby. One was in another state. They had good reasons. Did yours have good reasons? All I can say is that some bridesmaids don’t understand their responsibilities when they accept to be BM. Even if they can’t be there, they should still help pay. Ask if they would be willing to help pay for the brides hotel room or her dinner.
Post # 4
Sorry, I don’t agree with Charm bracelet at all. I don’t think your bridesmaids are under any obligation to pay for this or any other function. Come on, these are your friends! They have their own lives and own financial responsibilities, and I really dislike the notion that agreeing to stand with you on your wedding day implies an obligation to spend untold of amounts of money on parties and showers. I think that any bridesmaid worth her salt is going to do her utmost to participate in making your wedding festivities as wonderful as she can, but not everyone can afford to bankroll a bachelorette, a tea, a shower, a wedding gift, a dress (and all related accessories), hair, makeup, travel, etc. Count yourself lucky if your girls can.
I think (I’d like to hope) that, in general, brides appreciate everything their bridesmaids do for them and understand that some of them may have limits. Please don’t rush into thinking that your bridesmaids owe you. If you haven’t already, have an open conversation with them about the role you’d like them to play in all of this, and allow them to respond with what they are capable of and willing to do. Hopefully you can vet any future disappointments this way.