My FMIL is wearing white. FI did say she would talk to her and suggest she treat herself to a new non-white dress, but I don't think he's talked to her yet.
My flowergirl, the daughter of a friend, is wearing pink. We asked that she wear a white dres. Pink is not at all in our color scheme.They are paying for the dress.
I guess I'm too worried about everything else to make a big deal about these dress issues and I don't want to offend or upset anyone, especially as the friend is doing us a big favor and a dress color is a small thing to sacrifice for the sake of good relations with my FMIL.
As far as FMIL goes, do let your hubby handle it. But, if she chooses to stay with her current dress, don't sweat it. Many other brides on here have said that in the same situation, no one at the wedding cared.
Regarding your flower girl, perhaps take it upon yourself to find some inexpensive white dresses for her and email them to her parents with the explanation that the pink dress, while darling, will not match anything else in the wedding and you've found a lovely alternative. They should be able to return the first dress.
That's tough. On the one hand, every flower girl is cute, no matter what color she's wearing, and it sounds kind of cute, too, that she doesn't match everything else.....reminds me of that old commercial where everything was in dull black & white, with everybody carrying gray umbrellas, except this one standout person carrying a red umbrella.....
On the other hand, flower girls tend to find their way into LOTS of pictures, and it would be nice to have the little lady coordinated with the rest of the wedding party. So ultimately I agree w/ CarolineG, above, that you should tactfully let the FG's parents know that the FG needs to wear white (or whatever color you have picked out for her). You can offer to pay for her dress, and you can of course give them some options as to the style of the dress.
I agree that there is little you can do about FMIL - but she is the one who will look like an ass, so whatever.
The FG, on the other hand, is a member of the wedding party. As such, unless you told her parents that she could wear whatever she wanted, you get to choose the dress. (Just like for your BMs.) As long as you're going with something inexpensive, I would just buy the dress - and have it sent. If you want to give them some input, go ahead and email them some choices before you order it - maybe number your top 2 or 3, and ask them to help choose, if you like. Like the rest of the wedding party, if she doesn't want to wear what you have chosen, she can opt out and you can find another FG. Try to be more diplomatic than that, but this should be obvious to her mother already.
Thanks, everyong, for your support. I'm just gonna let things be and save myself the stress :) FI is going to talk to his mom... I told him if there is any little resistance on her part then to just let it go.
Just need let a couple things off my chest...
My FMIL is wearing white. FI did say she would talk to her and suggest she treat herself to a new non-white dress, but I don't think he's talked to her yet.
My flowergirl, the daughter of a friend, is wearing pink. We asked that she wear a white dres. Pink is not at all in our color scheme.They are paying for the dress.
I guess I'm too worried about everything else to make a big deal about these dress issues and I don't want to offend or upset anyone, especially as the friend is doing us a big favor and a dress color is a small thing to sacrifice for the sake of good relations with my FMIL.
Thanks for letting me vent a little
posted by tbittles 42 posts 2 months agoAs far as FMIL goes, do let your hubby handle it. But, if she chooses to stay with her current dress, don't sweat it. Many other brides on here have said that in the same situation, no one at the wedding cared.
Regarding your flower girl, perhaps take it upon yourself to find some inexpensive white dresses for her and email them to her parents with the explanation that the pink dress, while darling, will not match anything else in the wedding and you've found a lovely alternative. They should be able to return the first dress.
posted by CarolineG 284 posts 2 months agoEven if they're paying for the dress the bride (and groom) are the ones who choose the colors for the wedding.
posted by ile25 23 posts 2 months agoThat's tough. On the one hand, every flower girl is cute, no matter what color she's wearing, and it sounds kind of cute, too, that she doesn't match everything else.....reminds me of that old commercial where everything was in dull black & white, with everybody carrying gray umbrellas, except this one standout person carrying a red umbrella.....
On the other hand, flower girls tend to find their way into LOTS of pictures, and it would be nice to have the little lady coordinated with the rest of the wedding party. So ultimately I agree w/ CarolineG, above, that you should tactfully let the FG's parents know that the FG needs to wear white (or whatever color you have picked out for her). You can offer to pay for her dress, and you can of course give them some options as to the style of the dress.
Good luck!
posted by maryalison 105 posts 2 months agoI agree that there is little you can do about FMIL - but she is the one who will look like an ass, so whatever.
The FG, on the other hand, is a member of the wedding party. As such, unless you told her parents that she could wear whatever she wanted, you get to choose the dress. (Just like for your BMs.) As long as you're going with something inexpensive, I would just buy the dress - and have it sent. If you want to give them some input, go ahead and email them some choices before you order it - maybe number your top 2 or 3, and ask them to help choose, if you like. Like the rest of the wedding party, if she doesn't want to wear what you have chosen, she can opt out and you can find another FG. Try to be more diplomatic than that, but this should be obvious to her mother already.
posted by suzanno 1,976 posts 2 months agoThanks, everyong, for your support. I'm just gonna let things be and save myself the stress :) FI is going to talk to his mom... I told him if there is any little resistance on her part then to just let it go.
posted by tbittles 42 posts 2 months ago