Flower Girl… demotion?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Heck, I really can’t see any likelihood of a 14 month old and an 11 month old walking down the aisle. My granddaughter was a very early walker (9 months) but she was 2 and a half when she was my bridesmaid and she still needed “escorting”. There’s every chance that babies that age will be shy/unwilling or just simply cry because they are overwhelmed by the event.

If you don’t want a cart or have them carried – both options seem to defeat the whole object of flower girls anyway – then I’d suggest having the 5 year old as the single FG. Although won’t demoting the others cause family drama?

Post # 4
42082 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@hkk1313:  I would phone or send them an email


I am planning on ordering our programs tomorrow. As I’m not aware that you have purchased a dress for ___ yet, I thought I better check in with you. As you know, my plan does not include her walking down the aisle, but I would love to include her in the pictures. If you would rather have her just be a guest at the wedding, please let me know asap.”


This gives the parent the option to demote their own daughter.




Post # 5
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I guess I don’t understand the point of having flowergirls who cannot walk?  Then aren’t they just guests in matching baby outfits?  Two of my nieces were flower girls, but one who was only 12 months old did not come to the wedding because my sister wanted to have a good time.

If they aren’t going down the aisle, cant they wear whatever they want?  I would list them in the program as honorary flower girls.  

I’ve seen adorable pictures where the babies are brought down the aisle in a decorated wagon, but you don’t seem to like that idea.  


Post # 6
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would just call and say that you have tried to get a hold of them and because it is almost 2 months away from your wedding you need to ge tthe programs done and you wantedf to see if they were still interested.

Any way you can contact MIL possibly or can your FI try to get a hold of them? Perhaps if it is him calling they will be more inclined to answer?

Post # 7
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@hkk1313:  I’m sorry hon, I think you might be stuck.  Once you ask them it’s hard to un-ask without hurt feelings.  I woudn’t worry about what they wear, as long as they know they need to buy the outfits and they know the basics (color, level of formality, whatever), I’d ignore it and just assume they’ll take care of it.  If your wedding day comes and their kids aren’t wearing what they’re supposed to then you’re off the hook.  Nobody will care that the babies are listed in the program but aren’t walking down the aisle.  Best of luck!

Post # 9
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

If these babies are not truly part of the recessional it is crazy to ask their parents to buy specific outfits for them.  If my DD wasn’t going to be going down the aisle I wouldn’t be footing the bill for a particular FG dress.

I TOTALLY get the idea they are too young to go down the aisle and I agree with that part.  I also understand that you are being pushed on that.  What I don’t understand is why you are expecting them to “be in the appropriate dress” when you have no intention of having them in the processional.  If they are just in pics they don’t need to be in FG dresses.

I’m not trying to be harsh here, but am I missing something?

Post # 11
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Goodness gracious. Please don’t demote the little babies. That isn’t very nice and will just reflect poorly on you. Print their names in the programs, it’ll mean a lot to his family. If they make it down the aisle great, if not so be it. No one is going to be like hmmm there are three flower girls in the program, but only one walked down the aisle! If anything, the moms can walk the girls down with them. So not a big deal. At the end of the day, this is your mistake for asking infants to be in the wedding in the first place. But at this point, you can’t change it without looking like a bridezilla. Just go with the flow and accept that whatever they end up doing, it won’t affect your day in the slightest.

Post # 12
3 posts

@hermom:  Totally agree. I would be insulted if someone just wanted my child for the photos. 

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