Post # 1
We’re getting married in less than 3 weeks away and just found out that my fiance’s niece, who is one of the flower girls in our wedding,does not want to wear the tutu I made for the wedding. I told his sister and mother that I was making the flower girls tutus for our wedding about 4 months ago. Two days ago, his mother told him that his 5 year-old niece had a tantrum when she tried on the tutu. His sister is offering to buy two, new dresses for the flower girls in the same color scheme as my wedding colors. I was alittle annoyed, considering: 1) I wished they would have told me earlier that she didnt like tutus, 2)this is MY wedding, 3) I spent time and money on making these tutus, and lastly) his mother and sister keeps on griping at the fact that I was going to make his niece wear a tutu for the wedding. Btw, the tutu goes with my rustic, whimsical vision for my wedding. You know, the one I’vplebes planning for all my life!! To my fiance’s credit, he did try to talk his sister in getting his niece to wear the tutu and expressed his disappointment. While this is a minor detail/change in the wedding, I’ve had to deal with a couple of traumatic family stresses within the past 4 months: my father had a minor stroke and my grandmother just had a stroke last week. My mother s flying out f the country to be with her and will be back right before the wedding. My questions to you, ladies, are: have you ever dealt with this “change” in a flower girl’s attire and am I overreacting?
Post # 3
It’s always a good idea to step away from the idea of “MY” wedding and frame it as “our wedding.” This is your FI’s family, I would follow his lead on the best way to handle this. Maybe it’s worth the fight to get the kid to wear the tutu – and maybe it’s not. Strangers on the internet can’t really make that call for you guys.
Post # 4
Honestly, I understand being upset about the work you put in, but they’re little girls. They would look cute in a burlap sack, and it’s really not a big deal. I told SIL to just get our flower girl a white dress- I had no idea what she would look like until the day of the wedding, and guess what? She looked like a flower girl. Totally freakin’ adorable. Of course.
Let your SIL buy the dresses (it’s really nice of her to offer), and stop stressing. If this is the worst thing that happens around your wedding, count yourself incredibly lucky.
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
It’s better to have a flower girl happy in a normal dress than throwing a tantrum in a tutu! It’s not that big a deal, hopefully you guys can find a dresses that still fit your theme.
Post # 6
I’d be super annoyed, too. Just wear the damn tutu, little girl!
Post # 7
Hm, well, on one hand, I would be annoyed. On the other hand, I would prefer to avoid tantruming on my wedding day, so I’d probably just let mom buy the dresses. It sounds like she’s just trying to make your day stress free, and she did the most you can expect from her by offering to buy both of the new dresses. How old is the girl? If you can’t trust the mom to diffuse the tantrums on the day of, you definitely need to go with another dress. I’m sure having a calm wedding is more important than having everyone in certain outfits.
Post # 8
How old are these little girls? Are we sure they’re crying because they’re in a “outfit they don’t like”? And that they wouldn’t be crying in anything they were put in?
Sounds like your FI’s sister just doesn’t like the idea so she’s making up excuses. They’re little kids – one minute the hate something and 5 minutes of wearing something they forget they have it on (as long as it isn’t extremely uncomfortable for them).
Post # 9
I think I opened a can or worms by making tutus as well! Although my problem is the other way around. I made one tutu (out of 3) and it took me hooouuuurrs and it just looked awful so I went out and bought the three flowergirls some dresses. So now one of the flowergirls is shitty and so is her Mum (my sister)!
But yes, I do think it’s best to avoid flowergirl tantrums. One of my wedding day fears is that one of the girls will start crying through the ceremony or something.
Post # 10
Thank you for your comments! The girls are both 6 years old. The other flower girl is excited to wear the tutu. Btw, the tutus are super cute! But you ladies are right….I definitely don’t want to deal with any tantrums on the day of wedding. I’m annoyed but I’ll definitely let it go. For the most part, I’ve been extremely lucky with the wedding planning process. I have the best mom and bridesmaids in the world! Thank you, again, for your comments. I’m getting really excited about the Big Day!! I love weddbeebread boards: they definitely helped me stay sane!
Post # 11
@westsidestory223: Since you’re doing a rustic wedding, could one girl wear the tutu, and the other girl wear a non-tutu dress that coordinates? Then, at least you could almost get your vision?
Post # 12
Kids can be finnicky (sp?). I would let the mom buy another dress for her but keep the tutu as well. Maybe on the wedding day your niece will put it on without an issue. Or try to have her put it on again in a week or so. Can you go visit her and try to get it on her? If you really want it for your wedding vision I am not above some negotiating. Is there a toy she wants? Can she wear the tutu down the aisle and for pictures, then change?
Post # 13
This may sound terrible, but she’s 6, can’t you just try to “bribe” her?
Post # 14
I don’t really have any good advice for you, but boy do I feel sorry for those girls parents! Letting a six year old run the show like that must make for a pretty miserable existence! I was a flower girl in a lot of weddings, and I never liked my dress, hated having my hair curledto but I never refused to wear something!! I’m sorry, but do the opinions of little ones really hold that much weight? They should wear the darn tutus. let them pick out a pretty bracelet or hair accessory, and tell them know that the tutus are mandatory.
Post # 15
This sucks, but that’s the way it works with kids….you are subjected to the whimmiest of whims and if they don’t like something, well…that is that. But on the other side, if this was a two year old, I wouldn’t push it, but a five year old…? Well, sounds like she might be the teensiest bit over indulged, because my parents would have accepted no such excuse….if it were me, I would frame it like this, if you wanna be a fireman, you wear a uniform, same with a cop. A doctor or even a princess….if she wants to be in the wedding as a flower girl, she needs to suit up, otherwise she is more than welcome to wear whatever she likes and sit with the guests. If her mother cries foul just let her know you think it’s ridiculous that this tantrum got as much validation as it did and in their home, the tail is waggin the dog.
Post # 16
I’d love to see a picture of the tutus!!