Post # 1
My FBIL and FSIL (FI’s bro and SIL) are a groomsman and bridesmaid and we asked if their four kids could be in the wedding party, too, and they agreed. Two would be ring bearers and two would be flower boy/girl. They’re seven, five, and soon-to-be-four. By the time the wedding is, they’ll be eight, six, and five.
I started looking at outfits for them, so they can budget and/or we would help with the costs. I’ve been looking at DIY for ring pillow alternatives and flower baskets.
And then, last night, when we spoke to them, they said “Well, they’ll only be in the party if they can handle it.” OK…I get it, so I asked when they’d know, and they replied, “A week or two before the wedding.”
Uh, no, that won’t work. I don’t want them to rush and buy outfits, then I’d have to rush and buy my DIY supplies and make things, etc. Plus, if we do programs, we need to know sooner! In reality, if they don’t want them to be in the party, it’s OK, and I told them this. We don’t need ring bearers and flower kids (I didn’t tell them this). We just thought it would be cute and nice, but we can go without.
I’m just frustrated. We have a 11-months, but I would like to know, plus I can get those DIY projects done and out of the way!
Post # 3
I agree that waiting till a week before to let you know is ridiculous. It’s not brain surgery, they’re just walking.
But if you don’t care whether you have a ring bearer or flower girl or not then it shouldn’t matter right?
Maybe find a relatively inexpensive clothing option and if they don’t end up being in it, who cares. (Maybe something that they could wear again for holidays to the mom doesn’t mind shelling out money.
Get to the bottom of the reason why they’re iffy. Why couldn’t they handle it? behavior? money? desire?
Post # 4
Just let them know that you’ll plan to have them in the party, and that they’ll need to get their things ahead of time. there’s no reason why they wouldn’t be able to go to the ceremony and then head home with a babysitter or something afterwards. My older brother is doing that with his kids for my younger brother’s wedding in a few weeks. But the whole, “We’ll let you know a week before” thing isn’t going to work. They’re either in or they’re out.
Post # 5
@kala_way: No, it doesn’t matter, per say, other than the planning and having enough time to get things done.
I hope to speak again with FSIL tonight, so I plan on bringing it up. We told them if it’s money, we’ll help with the costs, and so far, the dresses I’ve found are under $20.00. The biggest investment would be for the boys, since they don’t even own dress pants or shoes. But, I suppose it would be a good investment to make. We’re only looking for them to be in dress pants and shoes, and any of these combinations: white shirt and blue vest; white shirt and blue tie; or a blue dress shirt. We wouldn’t even want them in full suits.