Post # 1
I just got some upsetting news.
We are having a destination wedding in the Dominican Republic, where my fiance is from, because it made so much more sense financially and in terms of ease of travel for his family not having to get visas to the US for travel, etc. From the get go, my sister and her husband were gung-ho about coming and bringing their two kids, including my four year old niece who will be my flower girl. We’ve been talking about it for months.
But now my sister is telling me that they think it will be too stressful to bring the kids. I can understand them not bringing the youngest, he’s still a baby, and I could understand them leaving him with my brother in law’s parents…but I am really sad about not having my niece be there as the flower girl in my special day. She was so excited about it, too. Since she was born I knew I had wanted her to be my flower girl.
I am really upset and not sure how to react. I know I need to respect their wishes, but I just feel upset about this. A few other loved ones won’t be able to attend because of the distance. I don’t even know why I’m having a big, expensive wedding if so many loved ones can’t be there.
I didn’t think it was that stressful to travel with a four year old. It’s not a long flight, it’s not like taking the kids to Europe or something. And the resort in DR where the wedding will be is targeted for families, they have special kids areas, etc. I just don’t know how to respond, if I should try to convince them or just let it drop. I feel really sad and upset over this.
Post # 3
They may be trying to take advantage of this and spend some kid-free time. I wouldn’t convince them to bring her.
Maybeonce you get back, you and your neice can have a auntie/niece day and you can play the video and share pics from your day.
Post # 4
You need to drop it. I was your choice to have a Destination Wedding and traveling with kids IS very stressful.
It’s more important for your sister to be there. In all honesty, other than being told she was in your wedding and the pictures, the 4-year old isn’t going to remember. And, I’m sure your sister is seeing this as a chance to enjoy a kid-free experience and it will also allow her to be more ‘present’ for you vs. running after a 4-year old.
Maybe you could do a special dress-up all fancy, aunty/niece ‘flower girl’ day together before or after the wedding? That would be such a fun thing for you both, I’d think!
Post # 5
I don’t think that you should convince them to let her come. Traveling with a 4 year old can definitely be stressful. When she goes to bed at night, one of them is going to have to make sure they miss out on part of the wedding to take her back to the hotel room. That’s no fun for either of the parents. So I don’t blame them for wanting to take a little vacation sans kids. I think you should let it drop.
Post # 6
I agree that she is probably wanting to take this opportunity to have a kid free trip, so the best thing would be to just let it go and let them do what they want (IMO).
Post # 7
I can understand why you are upset. It’s always hard when someone you really wanted to be there can’t make it. In my travel experience, the level of stress depends highly on the child. It’s always at least a bit stressful to travel with a kid, but with some kids it’s worse than others. I think you are going to have to trust your sister’s judgement on this. We are in a similar situation with my fiance’s nephews, although his sister has not yet made her final decision. In our case, it isn’t even an international flight (It would be about 3.5 hours.), and I know he’s going to be very disappointed if they don’t come, but we’ll accept it.