Post # 1
Would you, as a guest, be offended or upset at the following?
My mom is recently deceased. At the time of my wedding, she will have been gone for about two years. I’m planning on doing a few private things to remember her (wearing her wedding ring, earrings, etc.) but would also like to have a chair for her, next to my Grandma, with a flower or flowers on it. I won’t be referencing her in the ceremony, or placing the flowers during the ceremony.
Please be honest.
Post # 3
@MoonlitMagnolia: I did this for my great-grandma. I put it in the chair where she always sat during church services. I laid it there before the ceremony and before guests started piling in. There wasn’t anything in the program and no mention of the flower was made. I would have lost my shit and been a crying mess for the rest of the day if anything was said. I just laid her rose there and no one bothered it at all.
Post # 4
First off i am deeply sorry for your loss but be sure that she will be with you on your big day. I think that is absolutely beautiful way to honor your mother it is in no way offensive or upsetting at all. If anything (well I’m the sentimental emotional type) upon seeing it shed a tear but notbe overwhelmed in a negative way. I’ve seen some brides/grooms leave a photograph of their loved ones who have since passed on the chair as well but I know I would be a wreck if that was done. Like s2bmrscook said I wouldn’t make any mention of it plus I’m sure people will accurately assume what it represents.
Post # 5
Definitely fine and lovely to do that!
Post # 6
@MoonlitMagnolia: Not at all. My FI will be doing the same for his mother.
Post # 7
I think it is a beautiful way to remember her. I thought about doing this for my grandma who I recently lost but I think I would lose it of I saw the flower. Instead I’m wearing her ring and will put a picture of her at the reception
Post # 8
I agree with prior posters. What a lovely way to remember your mother and to honor her memory!
I would also like to add that I am very sorry for your loss.
Post # 8
Don’t allow what people here say influence whether or not you honor your own mother at your wedding. If that is the way you would like to honor her then honor her and show your love and mourning.
But then you know I know nothing of etiquette
Post # 9
I am doing similiar, for my grandparents and daughter.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2014 - Beach
I’m very sorry for your loss 🙁 It’s an amazing thing to do. It’s your wedding you can do whatever you want. Its a beautiful way to remember her
Post # 11
I think it is a great idea. We are remembering FI’s deceased father in a similar way, but instead of a flower, FI is wearing a coat with tails down the aisle and then taking it off and putting it on his what would be his dad’s chair. One of his dad’s favorite memories from his wedding was that he got to wear a coat with tails. We also won’t mention it, though it isn’t quite as subtle as yours.
I also agree with the PP who said that it doesn’t matter what others think. This is one part that I don’t feel is about being a good host, but about doing what is right for you.