Post # 1
Im not sure what to do about having a flowergirl… Ever since FHs niece was born, her mum has always said “when you get married, she can be your flowergirl!” (English is her second language and doesnt understand what is socially acceptable to say/do).
She is now 3 and missed out when when FH bro was married and now i feel a bit mean not having her. My bridal party is just Maid/Matron of Honor, Bridesmaid or Best Man and jnr Bridesmaid or Best Man, but i feel the reason i dont want her is that it will be more of a hassle than its worth as her mum wont understand her role and im already stressed out enough. My bridal party is just my family, is it bad not to include her?
To ask or not ask? (Her mum asked as soon as we were engaged and ive already said no.. But im not sure!)
Post # 3
@Del_M: I was once told that flower girls should be at least 4. And after my (then) 3 year old was a Flower Girl, I agree. She got nervous and didn’t walk down the aisle when she was meant to.
You don’t owe it to anyone to have her as Flower Girl. She’s too young to really remember it. You’ve already said no. If she’s at the wedding, she can still dress up and be in the family photos. I say stick with your original plan and have no Flower Girl.
Post # 4
@Del_M: NO! Your stessed enough. Im not having a flower girl or ring bearer. My Dog might be the ring bearer lol.
Post # 5
It’s up to you, but it may be a nice gesture, but if you think it is too much of a pain on the day off, then dont worry about it.
We had 2 flower girls, DH’s niece and my dad’s God daughter, one was 3 and the other was 4. The 3 year old is really shy and didnt make it down the aisle for the rehearsal but the morning off she came over to my house nice and early and hung out with the bridal party and the other flower girl and was so excited to walk down the aisle, she was not a hassle at all. After the ceremony, the flower girls went to their respective parents, who they were with for the rest of the night except for a couple of photos for a few minutes.
Darling Husband on the other hand was a ring bearer for his aunts wedding when he was 3, over 23 years ago and still remembers and cherishes that moment. It still does mean a lot to him, myself on the other hand – i was a flower girl in probably 7 different weddings and it all started to smush together. I still remember most of them and remember how excited I was.
Post # 6
Thanks for the replies! I dont feel quite so guilty now! Im seeing them this weekend so we’ll so how i feel then.
My plan atm is to wait til next year and if i decide yes just buy her a dress and all she has to do is walk down the aisle. Ill sneakily check out the size of her clothes this weekend… Lol
Post # 7
@Del_M: Just remember that she will probably grow quite a bit in the next 6 months.
Post # 8
I think at three it every much depends on the child. Some are mature enough to do it, others may not.
That being said just because English is the mom second language doesn’t mean that she can’t or doesn’t understand what is socially acceptable. If SHE is that way it’s because of HER personality, or perhaps things are done differently where she from and she finds you and your ideas just as socially unacceptable.
Anyhow moving if you don’t want them don’t have them, but I think you are stressing out unnecessarily as it’s really not that complicated. You pick out a dress, she pay for it, and shows up with her daughter clean and on time for pictures.
Post # 9
Our flowergirl was three, and she did an AMAZING job! (Just let her practice while the guests file in)
Post # 10
weekend went well, she’s a cutie and I checked out her size.. we’ll see how I feel at xmas.. i might give her a dress for xmas.. easy!
but omg i need to share my new issue with FH’s other brother (and groomsman). He wants to hook up with my bridesmaid cousin who is (unfortunately) partnered with him. Why unfortunate? He’s married and will have a one month old baby at our wedding (which his wife is desperately trying to get me to find someone to look after it so she can get drunk!?!?). He has already told me he’s planned conquest.. their relationship is weird.. I can just see that my wedding day will be remembered for all the wrong reasons………….