Post # 1
I wasn’t really sure where to post this question….
Anyways, I am getting ready to set up an appointment to meet with a florist to go over some ideas for my wedding. I pretty much know what I want I just need a florist to help me get the ideas together and looking good. So, my question is do you typically just go with your fiance to meet a florist or do you go with you mom, fmil, and fiance?
I am not really sure how to handle the situation. I really just want to go with my fiance, but I don’t think my FMIL will be too happy about that. I won’t go in to all the dreaded details of why she’s going to be upset, but I’m just curious what you all would do or did do?
Post # 3
Is your FMIL paying? If your paying take whomever you’d like. If they are paying I would def bring them.
Post # 4
Who is paying for the flowers?
For vendors that my husband and I paid for, we went to them together, by ourselves. For vendors that my parents paid for, we went with them.
For the rehearsal dinner and day after brunch (which my ILs) paid for most of the planning was done over the phone but we choose the menus with my in laws.
Post # 5
I totally get not wanting to bring a FMIL, but is she paying?
Post # 6
I agree with the pp! If your FMIL is paying then its her prerogative to tag along! If she’s just being controlling then your FI needs to talk to her.
I’m all for keeping peace w/ in laws though… if she’s going to be that upset if she can’t come then is it worth the fight??
Post # 7
As of right now I have no idea who is paying for the flowers. My FMIL offered to pay for the flowers because she paid for the flowers in her other sons wedding 3 years ago. A few months ago my fiance and FMIL had a huge blow-up because she didn’t feel like she was being included in anything and that she was just expected to foot the bill for everything. However, she’s been to EVERYTHING that we’ve done thus far. We invited her to a bridal show at the place we are getting married at, she went with us to meet the photographer (which my parents are paying for), I have shown her every idea I have had every step of the way through this planning process, yet she still feels like she’s not being included. I even invited her to go bridesmaid dress shopping with me and my girls – which she declined because she had to work. I have literally invited her to everything I have been to related to the wedding. After the blow-up and me having my feelings hurt I told my FI that I didn’t want her paying for the flowers, that my parents would take care of it, because I didn’t want to feel like I owed her something for her nice gesture.
Anyways, I know that was a lot of detail. So that’s my problem – I have talked with my parents and they have no problem paying for the flowers (never did), but I’m not sure how to handle the situation. I want her to be there for her input, because she has some really good ideas, but I don’t want her to feel like I’m inviting her so she can foot the bill.
I will probably just end up inviting her. Thanks for all the responses.
P.S. I also wanted to add that my parents are paying for our wedding – she, thus far, is only paying for the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 8
Wow that’s great you have parents almost fighting to pay for your wedding. Anyway, I think that inviting her to go with you will be good cause maybe you could make up. It sounds like the two of you had a pretty good relationship to begin with.
Post # 9
I only brought my mom, but that was to save my husband fomr the agony of looking at flowers lol. He wasnt interested. You sounds like you are in a situation like mine (I think I remember reading some of your old posts about her actually.) Dont invite her out of obligation UNLESS SHE IS PAYING. Dont let her guilt you, this is your wedding
Post # 10
I am taking my mom to meet with a florist, and I’m taking my MOH to meet with another florist, because my mom can’t make it to both. FI and I are paying for most of our wedding, but like KellyV said, my FI would not be interested in looking at flowers!! We’re going to the catering tasting together, cake shopping, etc. (Pretty much anything involving food, he’s in hehe).
Personally, I would invite her to come if she just really wants to see the flower choices and be involved. It might prevent some stress/tension in the future. However, if she’s overbearing and controlling and is trying to sway your decisions, I would say leave her at home!