Post # 1
My FSIL’s daughter is our flower girl. I was planning to buy her dress, but my FMIL (flower girl’s grandmother) insisted she pay. There is this dress that I really want for her because I think it is adorable and reminds me of my childhood in ballet, but it is a bit expensive. I thought that I could keep it after the wedding for my own daughter(s) one day. Is it rude to ask this of my FSIL? She has said before that her daughter will only wear it once and I feel like it is a waste. Otherwise, I will get a cheaper dress.
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s rude, at all, I think it sounds lovely!
I would just explain to her that you’d like to start a family tradition and make the dress an heirloom for your children, grandchildren, etc. (and thus you feel that it’s only right for you to pay for it).
Let us know how it goes!
Post # 4
As a mom of a daughter, who was a flower girl, I’d say you might want to get the feel from the FSIL, first. It sounds like it might work since the mom said she’d only wear it once. But there are a few things to consider.
1. If the little girl is going to be attached to the dress, it might break her heart to give it to you. What if at the least, she wants to keep it to play dress up and pretend she’s the bride?
2. You don’t even know you are going to have a daughter.
3. You might feel like you should have it for your daughter, since it is your wedding, but keep in mind that it is FSIL’s daughter who will be in your bridal party, not your children. Maybe the little girl would enjoy having that as a keepsake from Auntie’s wedding.
Ultimately, I think you just need to figure out if it means anything to the mom or the girl. If it does, I think you should let them keep it. If it means they have to pay for it, I think it’s OK to let them decide if it’s worth it. Perhaps it will be fine. And your FSIL is happy enough to not have to pay for the dress.
If my little girl couldn’t keep her dress, neither of us would have been very happy. I like to have it to remember her being a flower girl. (As that is special, not something everyone gets to do.) And she loves to dress up, now and again. But to each her own.