- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I fully admit I may be hypersensitive right now. I’m in the midst of starting back up in school, planning a wedding, going on vacation next week, etc. So needless to say, I am a little overwhelmed right now.
Quick backstory – FI’s mom and I have had a pretty good relationship since we started dating. I had always felt she was a bit hesitant around me, but things got better after he proposed and she was much more vocal about being so excited to have me in the family. When we moved the wedding up to this October, she was ecstatic. She offered to help me in any way, they contributed a little towards food and postage, she went with me to see me in my dress trying on veils, etc. It was great! She would email me all the time and told me on several occasions that she was so excited to have me as a part of the family and as her DIL (along with being excited about my son officially being their grandson). She planned a bridal shower luncheon for me and her family members.
Then – a couple of weeks ago I realized I have class every Saturday from noon-4pm and completely spaced that as we were planning (I didn’t finalize my school schedule until a couple weeks after she scheduled the shower). I apologized profusely because I felt horrible. I just, as I noted above, have been realllllly busy (I was under a lot of stress dealing with reenrolling in school and that’s a whole ‘nother topic of its own, but it was bad). She was the only one I told Saturday was okay…even after I finalized classes I attempted to set up two other events on Saturdays realizing after that duh, I have class.
Ever since then, she stopped emailing and stopped responding to me. She emailed me the morning I let her know, telling me that if I had not ordered engagement pictures yet not to worry about ordering any for her. Really vague. I asked her if she was sure and no response. I emailed her about choosing a song for her and FI to dance to, no response. I let her know that my mom offered to buy our cake (FMIL had originally offered to and even talked to a couple bakeries but then all discussion of it just stopped…and since we didn’t want to add it to our budget she and I had talked about doing baked goods for desserts) and her response was “Glad to hear you are getting a cake so I won’t worry about doing what I love to do best, baking.”. Our food is being catered by Buca Di Beppo (if anyone is familiar) and we offered three choices (spaghetti marinara, shrimp florentine, and fettuccine alfredo). She asked if there would be garlic bread to go with the spaghetti, and then emailed me again asking the name of the restaurant catering so she could send it to those asking questions about it and they could pull it up online.
I know that I may be overreacting to the food thing…I just wonder what everyone would do if we were having a traditional reception, there weren’t offered choices, or whatever else. Its one meal. However, her comment about baking just rubbed me the wrong way. This hasn’t been the first seemingly passive aggressive comment she has made. A couple weeks ago, the email canceling my shower, she made a comment about how FI has done a lot of work to our home and HE is anxious to show it off (we are having the reception in our back yard) however she understands if people can only come to the reception because she knows some people work weekends etc.
Ok this ended up longer than I intended and I don’t particularly know what I am asking for…I just miss having that great relationship with her and hope this isn’t a sign of years to come 🙁