Post # 1
I have had some ups and downs with FMIL and FSIL — it’s been difficult for them to let go of FI — but at the same time, they have made efforts to reach out to me and are generally great ladies. Weddings are sensitive times — I know that, so maybe I’m being sensitive here, but . . .
FI told me that FSIL and FMIL have been telling him that their dresses for the wedding are a surprse and he can’t see them, trying to get him excited for their dresses, etc. FSIL is a bridesmaid and will be walking down the aisle. FMIL is obviously MOG. I just don’t like the fact that they’re trying to get him excited to see them coming down the aisle. I know of course he will be most excited to see me, but it’s kinda irritating. FI and I don’t live together and are long distance right now, so the context of our relationship is probably different from some of those who live closer together — and FMIL and FSIL have a bit more personal interaction or infuence on FI because of this. I just don’t get why they are trying to make their dresses such a big deal to FI.
On the upside, FI will probably be taking family portraits with them prior to the wedding ceremony, and thus will see their dresses before the ceremony, but won’t see mine until I walk down the aisle. I don’t think anything will take away our moment, but it’s a little irritating when people seem to be interfering.
I told FI that FSIL hiding her dress makes it more difficult for him to get the idea of what color ties to buy for his groomsmen and is a bit silly since she’s a bridesmaid (the fact that she’s making it a surprise to him came up when I was telling him to look at her dress to get an idea of what color to match).
Anyway . . . I guess things could be worse. Like I said they’re great ladies, but this is a little silly.
Post # 3
I agree that it’s a little silly, but don’t let it get to you! My mom keeps talking about how it’s a fact that she’s the second most important female at the wedding…like really? who thinks like that? Anyway, don’t let it get to you….FI will have eyes for NO ONE except you.
Post # 4
I would be a little irritated by that too, geez you would think they were the bride, but hey in reality he is gonna not even notice what they are wearing. Do neither of them have partners?
Also you are a better person than me, I would have just shown him a pic of the BM dress.
Post # 5
@kate02121: lol, second most important female at the wedding.
Post # 6
@kate02121: Thanks 🙂 Yeah, I think weddings can make lots of people feel like “it’s about them” and it can be irritating . . . I guess everyone is also under more stress than normal, so i try to give the benefit of the doubt.
@simpleandchic: FSIL is very single at the moment — and she would love to be in a relationship, actually. FMIL is married to her husband of 30+ years.
Post # 7
I would definitely feel annoyed. It’s like they are trying to make it more about them, and it’s not even their wedding! the only person who should make a surprise entrance there is you. I would probably have asked my husband to talk to them and tell them that he doesn’t want you to feel less important on your special day.
Post # 8
@kate02121: haha, when your mom says that, you should just quote ricky bobby and say “hey, if you’re not first, you’re last”
Post # 9
It seems to me like your FMIL and FSIL are attempting (albeit, rather poorly) to ‘take the spotlight’ away from you. Let’s face it though – what kind of guy cares even cares what his mom and sister are wearing, even on his wedding day. Their outfits might be a ‘surprise’ to him simply in the sense that he’s never seen them before – but it probably won’t go anywhere beyond that. The whole thing just seems really stupid to me,
Also, you are perfectly allowed to show youf FI the bridesmaids dress that YOU chose for YOUR wedding. It’s not even like your FSIL is going to be the only one wearing it. There’s not a whole lot that you can do about the mom though I guess.
Post # 10
That is so stupid! Just let it go…they’re just trying to find a way to make it about them. Your FI will not care in the slightest what they are wearing…he’ll only have eyes for you and that’s all you need to worry about!!!
Post # 11
I think they’re going to be pretty disappointed when he doesn’t care what they’re wearing.
Even if he is that extremely rare guy who might notice what people are wearing, he’s going to have too much on his mind that day to give a flip what his mother and sister have on.
Go along with this whole nonsense, and then be there to pat their shoulders in sympathy when he doesn’t notice, or notices but doesn’t think it’s important.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I just asked FI- “do you care what the Matrons of honor are wearing?” No.
“Do you care what your Mom and sister wear?” No.
“Do you care what *I* wear?” (sheepishly replied)- not really.
Ha! So these two are so off base with their silliness! Ask him the day after the wedding what they were wearing. “Um, dresses?” 🙂
Post # 13
Oh yes that’s definitely irritaring. But I wouldn’t worry too much, dresses are the kind of thing that guys don’t care about.
Post # 14
Okay this really bothers me too for some reason. If I could I would show him the damn dresses… take a picture or something.. But then again i’m mean like that.
Post # 16
Thanks for all the replies to this, ladies. It really irked me when I first heard of it, but i am just going to let it go and not make a big deal of it. As the bride, it feels like they’re trying to make him excited about them and lessen my moment, but i’m going to try to put things in perspective and give them the benefit of the doubt, now that I’ve had some time to think about it. Maybe they are just trying to make things fun.
As PP have said, FI is not going to be all hung up on their dresses on the day . . . he’ll be thinking about me and our marriage, and I know he’s looking forward to seeing my dress. 🙂