FMIL and her gift..

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I don’t think it’s really appropriate for her to expect you to wear jewelry that she’s bought you without your input. Unless it’s heirloom jewelry, or something like that, I don’t think you have any obligation to wear it. It might not go with your style of dress, it might not be your personal style, etc. If she says something to you about wearing it on your wedding day, just say, “Oh, thank you so much but I’ve already picked out my wedding jewelry! This would go perfectly with the red dress I own, blah blah blah”

 

Honestly, wedding jewelry is pretty personal, and if she wanted you to wear it she should have taken you shopping or asked what type of things you were thinking of wearing. 

Post # 4
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@AnonHoney:  HRMMM…… Unless she says “this is to wear on your wedding day” I think I would just accept the gift and make a point to wear it when you see FMIL NOT on your wedding day. 

Personally, if she gifted you something and said “this is for tomorrow” I would suck it up and wear it.  If she gives you a necklace and earrings maybe you could get away with just wearing one or the other, depends on if you like what she picked out or not.

Regarding the jewelry you bought yourself, either return it or sell it.  At least that’s what I did with mine!

Post # 5
Member
4640 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@AnonHoney:  I think if she really cared about gifting you something to wear on your wedding day, she would have both asked your opinion and not waited so long. I wouldn’t feel obligated to wear it.

Post # 6
Member
2184 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

It’s perfectly okay for you to say, “Oh my gosh! It’s lovely. I wish I would have known this would be your gift because I’ve already chosen my jewelry. I would love to wear this for a different occasion, though. It’s truly beautiful!” 

…It’s not your fault she procrastinated.  

Post # 8
Member
3948 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@AnonHoney:   If she gives you – at the last minute and without ANY input from you, or notice to you – something to “wear on your wedding day”  she HAS to realize that by now you have picked something for yourself and you might very well not wear her gift.  Or you might wear her gift.  She is the once taking that chance.    

Post # 10
Member
2184 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

@AnonHoney:  Just smile, give her a hug and thank her. She can’t be mad at you. And if she is and you’re super sweet, she’ll have to hide it. 

Post # 11
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Well if this was supposed to be a surprise and you wouldn’t have known about it if FI hadn’t let it slip, how was she expecting you to not buy your own jewelry?  I think many brides have their accessories sorted out at least a few weeks before the wedding.  So if she hasn’t given you anything by now I wouldn’t worry about it.  It’s kind of unreasonable on her end if she was thinking of surprising you at the rehersal with jewelry she wanted you to wear the next day, why wouldn’t you already have jewelry by then?

Post # 12
Member
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@AnonHoney:  I don’t think you have to wear it. If your FMIL wants to pick out something for you to wear on your wedding day without your opinion or even guidance from your FH then she’s running the risk that you won’t like it. If she really wanted to get something you love then she should’ve asked you. End of story. 

Post # 13
Member
2047 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@AnonHoney:  are you a) past the return date? b)are you going to be around her at all before the wedding? Since its so close it wouldnt be weird to bring up wedding things, so why dont you casually say “oh my gosh you should SEE the jewelry I got for the wedding its SO prefect”

and see if she makes a “uh oh” face…. I guess if the wedding is this weekend there’s not much you can do :s  Thats tough…especially if you dont like what she got…if in fact she ended up doing it……she may not have. It’s annoying that you spent money on your self but the worst case is you have too much jewelry to choose from…which isnt the worst thing in the world

Post # 14
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Is she usually pretty cool aside from this?  Is she a clumsy gift giver?  Any chance she has this romanticized idea of giving it to you on your wedding day, and in her clumsiness, just doesn’t realize her execution of the idea is way off?

Post # 15
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I say you make a point next time you see her to mention that you found the perfect jewelry for the wedding and are really excited about it.  this will clue her in that it’s really not up to her.

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