FMIL Asking too much

posted 3 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

My husband took pictures with just his family. It’s not really that big of a deal. 3-4 pictures, done.

I did the same thing with my family. I don’t see what’s so hurtful about it?

Post # 4
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Um, she’s not having a “private shoot” with your wedding photog on your dime.  She gets one – two photos like that, and that’s it.  If she wants nice photos of the three of them she can pay for her own session like everybody else. 

Post # 5
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

Let her do it after you and your FI take all your couple-y pictures.  Leave it till the end of the hour and get everything else done first.  Then, use that time to take solo pics with your family and friends.  It is nice to have separate shots.   Just arrange beforehand with the photographer how much time or pictures to take for your FMIL, seeing as how you are paying for it.

Post # 6
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We have photos schedule of FI with just his family, just mom, just dad, each sibling etc but it will probably only take a few minutes. Tell her she can do it before the ceremony. 

 

Post # 7
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

no! you’re not wrong.

I’m surprised at her request. if she wants nice photos of her son and daughter, she can pay for a photographer to do so. Your wedding is not the time for that. 

Sorry FMIL, but that’s just not going to happen.

Post # 8
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@misslillypad:  Do you have a second shooter?  If so, i would suggest that perhaps some of those pictures could be taken pre-cermony at someone’s house.

But after the ceremony?  

I’m pretty laid back about this (we asked our photographer to get family shots of my SIL’s family, including my MIL, with AND without us, because what the hell, the photographer is there, all of them are there, so why not?) BUT 20 minutes is a long time for your photographer to wander off with half of the new couple.  

Compromise a bit — let her have a picture with just her kids if it will make her happy**–but a full on multi-pose 20 minute session? No way, Jose. On her time, and her dime but not on your wedding day.

**no one says you ever have to buy a copy, or put it in an album, but it is there if she wants to lay out the cash for it. 

Post # 9
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@misslillypad:  I agree with what others have said. It’s smart to take family photos before the ceremony. We had a whole range of immediate family portraits including each of us alone with our parents, siblings, etc. I love the photo of my husband and his parents!

Post # 11
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Compromise and tell her she can have it after you guys take your “vital” shots.

Post # 12
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d tell her she can do photos before the ceremony, but not after.

I don’t see anything wrong with a few photos of just her and her kids, but those should be done at the same time as your formal family photos, not off in some private shoot.

Post # 13
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

 

Agree with pp, she wants 20 minutes, let her do it before the ceremony or she can book her own session, they can even wear the same clothes.  Just hog your FI and don’t let her take him lol

Post # 14
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I could understand asking for 2-3 pictures, but a 20min shoot is ridiculous.  Could she take pictures with your FI and his sister right before the ceremony?  That way she gets her pictures but it doesn’t cut into the time you and your FI have right after being married.

 

Post # 15
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I wouldn’t want FI gone for 20 minutes after the ceremony. Tell her she gets a few minutes for those shots, just like every other wedding. If she wants, she can hire her family photographer on her own dime.

Post # 16
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee

@misslillypad:  Oh hell no. She’s not taking your glory at all. If she wants those specific shots, she’s going to get them when it’s at a more appropriate time. Before the ceremony. 

Could you do all of your wedding pictures before the ceremony, and then have the couple only shots after the ceremony? (evil, I know- but tell her it’s to maximize time you can spend with guests)

It’s not her wedding, it’s your wedding. Good lord, that woman…

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