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That's tough. I think I would probably thank her but send her a photo of a nice flute that you like and say that was more the style of what you had in mind (without getting into the red wine glass/champagne flute distinction), and ask her if what she bought could be exchanged or returned. If not, I would tell her that you'd be happy to use them in your home after the wedding, and then buy your own if she doesn't want to spend additional money on another set of glasses. I agree with you that if you don't use them she might be offended or wonder what happen to them, so you probably need to give her some kind of explanation.
Sarahnyc23, I think that's a great idea. Make it a stylistic "fit with the theme of the wedding" conversation and see how she takes it. Most people expect brides to be a little fussy with the decor. It could be a good angle.
Tell her they're gorgeous....red wine goblets....but that you really want/need champagne flutes! I'm sure it was an accident and she'd be mortified if she got you the wrong ones. Or have FI call and say, "hey mom...you bought us red wine glasses on accident" so that she's not as offended?
Can you use those as wine glasses during the reception or perhaps for communion during the ceremony (if applicable). I'm like you and could NOT do my champagne toast using a goblet. Thank her profusely for finding them for you, gush over them, and let her know that you plan to use them for "x" (just so she's not thrown if she expects them during the champagne toast). Many people toast with wine - so perhaps that's what was on her mind.
Maybe you could use them as the wine glasses for you and your fiance at the reception table? And then get appropriate toasting glasses on your own?
I feel you on this. My sister mentioned that she was looking for wine glasses for her apartment, and my mom was excited to tell her that she found some at a garage sale. They were neon pink champagne glasses! Some people honestly just don't know the difference ;o)
I totally agree with sarahnyc, that sounds like a really tactful way to deal with it!
Thanks for the help guys! My FH called her and said that they are sooo nice but 'it will look funny if everyone is toasting with champagne flutes and we are using big goblets' so she decided to return them and find something else. Woohoo!
YAY! That's wonderful news!!! Hope she finds something pretty! :)
Hehehe... I'm picturing everyone at the table with delicate little champange flutes, half full, and a VERY frazzled bride and groom up front guzzling champagne from big ol' red wine goblets... the planning drove them to drinking...
Not YOU, Noelle-a-Belle, just ... the image itself makes me laugh!
I was gonna say after reading the post to tell your Fi to handle it, but I guess you did!! It's always easier to tell whosever mom it is in the situation to take care of it so the other person doesn't look bad! At least its what i do!! I'm glad it worked out!!
I'd just like to say that I regularly drink my champagne and mimosas from pretty much whatever I have laying around-- coffee mugs, plastic tumblers, highball glasses, etc. :)
champagne nom nom nom
Great....she just sent us pics of the ones she bought and they're technically 'flute' shaped but they are totally hideous and squat looking. Oh well I guess I just have to resign myself to the fact that his mom has terrible taste and deal with it, because I don't want to have to ask her to change them again. And he wondered why I kept telling his mom 'no we don't need any help from you'. Grr.
This is not going to go over well, but perhaps just be grateful that you have a MIL who wants to buy you something special for your day? In the end its much more important to appear grateful and appreciative to your new family than get hung up over what type of wine glass someone else generously bought you.
You should be thanking her for her gesture, not trashing her taste all over these boards. I think your priorities might need some refocusing.
I think at this point you have to go with the flutes she bought. It's annoying that they won't be perfect, but it's better than wine glasses! I don't agree with the last poster. You were just asking for advice on how to do the right thing and not make your FMIL feel bad. I wouldn't have just let it go without trying to come up with a solution and I am sure many others feel the same way.
I do get the point that I should be grateful, and I am. But I am also irritated because we really didn't want help from her in the first place. She was insisting that she wanted to do something, so this was the one small thing that we asked her to do.
I also don't believe that saying 'I just have to accept that his mom has bad taste' is trashing her 'all over the website'. I specifically stated that I am NOT going to ask her to change them again, and accept them graciously.
I hope you didn't feel offended that I didn't want to drink champagne out of huge wine goblets, since you drink it out of plastic cups and mugs. I didn't want to insinuate that you might be doing something 'wrong'. But it's a matter of personal choice and being a wine/champagne officianodo, it goes against my grain to drink very expensive champagne out of a glass that will allow it to lose it's carbonation and flavor rapidly.
Hey, at least like you said, it's just a little thing. By the day after, no one but you guys will remember them, by a year you'll probably forget too. Probably worth it to let her feel included and helpful. It's sweet of her to try and help. :)
Awwww, I thought your FMIL was totally redeeming herself by returning the wine goblets!! So frustrating that she didn't get it quite right on her second try either!! ;)
That's a hard situation to change! I know what you mean..., you're appreciative that she tried to get you something, but frustrating that they won't really reflect you and your hubby-to-be's taste in stemware. Maybe if the hubby-to-be sees them in person and says something to her????? Eeek!
I would drop it and move on... it's such a tiny bit of your wedding. No one will notice or remember this afterwards, they wont stick out like goblets would have. This isn't a big deal at all. Use these for your toast and after that glass of bubbly, use a different glass... no worries. She just wanted to help with something, which is sweet, and now they're actual flutes, so don't worry! Again, no one will notice, care, or remember! Just take from this that your MIL cares and be happy that she is sweet! :)
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My FMIL really wanted to help. She lives over 1000 miles away. So we told her to get us the toasting flutes for our champagne toast. Today she sent me a picture of the 'flutes' she bought.....only problme is they are red wine goblets. I don't know whether we should ask her to exchange them, or just keep them? I don't want to sound like a wine snob but I really abhor the idea of sipping my wedding champagne out of a red wine goblet. It's just not right. FH says well why don't we just keep the goblets but not use them.....I think that would offend her. But I have a feeling she'll be offended if we ask her to get the 'proper' glass as well. I just assumed she would know the difference between a flute and a goblet (silly me I guess). Any advice on how to handle it?
I really don't want to suck it up and drink out of the goblet. It will ruin the expensive champagne.