(Closed) FMIL brought up ex…would you be annoyed?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Would you be annoyed by this?
    Yes, explain why : (98 votes)
    72 %
    No, explain why. : (38 votes)
    28 %
  • Post # 3
    6745 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I wouldn’t be annoyed that she mentioned Sally, but I would be annoyed about the comment of her regretting it and that she’s prettier and thinner now.  Sounds almost like she prefers Sally to you.  Uhm, weird. 

    Post # 4
    5967 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I think she was trying to compliment her son, he’s the one that got away for Sally, and that means your fella is one special guy…don’t sweat it, even though the execution of said compliment was ham handed and generally creepy.

    Post # 5
    883 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @IzzyBear:  why be annoyed, he’s marrying YOU!!!!!  And he does have a past that cannot change.



    Post # 6
    11752 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m sure she meant no harm by it, just seemed like small talk. My parents have run into my ex before and told me about it. It’s not like she told your Fiance he was an idiot for breaking up with her.  There are going to be far bigger fish to fry with your Future Mother-In-Law in the coming years – I’d let it go and pick your battles.

    Post # 7
    1487 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @Nona99: I would be annoyed, because I’m like that, but I think you’re right, and it was meant to be a compliment.

    OP, I would concentrate on the fact that your Fiance obviously didn’t want to hear about it, and know that you have nothing to worry about!

    Post # 8
    986 posts
    Busy bee

    Just going to second what Nona99 said – I voted no in the poll because Mr. O’s ex is often brought up, as an example of what to avoid in a girlfriend, haha. 

    Post # 9
    5423 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2012

    It’s annoying but it’s whatever.  During one of our breaks Fiance dated another girl.  When we got back together his mom continnued to talk/shop/whatever with this girl.  Future Mother-In-Law is a photog on the side and took photos of her and her baby (from another man).  I could go on.  Your Fiance doesn’t care, so I wouldn’t either.

    Post # 10
    319 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I’d be annoyed that she mentioned that Sally was prettier and skinnier.  So could have left that part out.

    Post # 11
    2287 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    It sounds to me like she misses his ex and wants him to know he still has “options.” I would be so upset.

    Post # 12
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    I think the fact that she said something like “she will always regret not being with you” indicates she didn’t mean anything “pro” Sally.  Had she said something like “you will always regret not being with her”, that would be a different story, but I think as she texted it, it’s just kind of like an update having seen her and hey, she is missing out on my wonderful son.

    Post # 13
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    What a dick move on her part. Who cares how thin or fat Sally is? Your Fiance doesn’t and if his mother does, she should keep it to herself. 

    Post # 14
    613 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Quietserenity: + 1 


    I would be annoyed if your  FMIL was comparing his ex to you, but I don’t see that she was. She was just giving a compliment to her son–giving a confidence boost. More or less his ex lost a good thing and misses everyone.

    So his mom said she lost weight and got prettier, so what? If she did, good for her..but your Fiance didn’t care….The important thing is he is with you and loves you! 🙂 




    Post # 15
    805 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    This seems odd to me, but I do believe the original intent was to compliment your Fiance.

    …Still, I can’t find any explainations for the prettier and thinner comment. That sounds messed up.

    Post # 16
    868 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would be annoyed because as far as I’m concerned the Ex should never come up (unless she was a family friend or there are mutual children). However I’d work hard to give Future Mother-In-Law the benefit of the doubt because I realize MY mother will probably says crazy things I can’t explain as well.

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