Post # 1
My dad is giving us $5000 to help pay for the wedding, and both of FI’s parents told us they could do $3,000 each (they’re divorced).
Now FI’s mom is saying that she never agreed to that amount and said she will do about $1,000.
It’s upsetting because we obviously included that extra 2K in our budget….
We can’t “make” her agree to give us more but it’s frustrating. We’ve already cut down on almost everything we can so that we have the cheapest big wedding possible, and if we cancel anything we’ll LOSE money because we’ve already paid deposits. GRRR another 2k from our empty wallets…
Post # 3
That sucks but atleast she is giving you something.
Post # 4
Wow, I’m really sorry. When you are told one thing and make plans accordingly and then a different thing happens, that is just not cool. Maybe there are a few details you can do without or a few changes you can make to the contracts to reduce prices even further.
Post # 4
I suspect you’re going to get flamed for expecting contributions, but I think the problem here is that she offered one amount and is now cutting it back. Of course you’re grateful, and it doesn’t sound like you went looking for handouts, so I don’t think any flaming is necessary. It’s unfair and leaves you hanging for the remaining 2k with only a few months notice to adjust or come up with more money. It sucks, but there’s not much you can do about it.
Post # 5
That must be so frustrating for you!!! I wonder why she would just all of a sudden change her mind? I mean its her sons big day…hmm. Perhaps you could sit down and talk with her if you do end up desparately needing the money and it wouldnt hurt to see what she says. She does want the best for her son after all.
I originally budgeted out on what FI and I could afford and went from there, I got some unexpected surprises along the way though when my grandfather offered to pay the alcohol bill and I already knew my sister was doing the flowers since she is a florist.
Post # 6
@Amaryllis: Yeah we didn’t really expect a ton of help and we were pleasantly surprised when my dad offered 5K. I guess he gave that much to my sister’s wedding so he’s being fair ot us. And FI’s brother got married a few years ago and he told us that FI’s parents gave 3K each and when FI told his mom about my dad’s 5K she offered the same that she had given his brother. We confirmed with her that it was 3K before signing things and budgeting and she said YES! GRRR…
The only things we can truly cut now is the wedding cake (which I was planning to do anyway) but that only saves us $200. We already paid for our photographer and DJ and those were the best deals we found.
Literally I can’t think of one other thing we can cut down on…we could make our ceremony guests stand but that would only save about $200. We could cut out sheet cakes but that would save only $125. all these things we CAN cut don’t equal $2,000.
Post # 7
That sucks I’m sorry!!! Thats a lot of money that you werent expecting to pay!! Maybe talk to her. Im sorry again I know how frustrating that is.
Post # 8
At the end of the day…I could cut out the decor a bit if it was a big expense. Honestly, years after the fact who is going to remember what the room looked like?? The most they will remember will be if anything went wrong and how beautiful the happy couple looks on their big day. Just a suggestion…
Post # 9
@peacockbride24: I’d cut that out too, if it were costing us anything. The centerpieces I’m making are only costing me about 50 cents a piece, and all the other decor is provided by our venue.
Post # 10
I am so sorry. I know EXACTLY how you feel. My mom asked us if she gave us XXX amount of money if we would have a ‘big’ wedding at the hotel I work at.
I planned an entire wedding, including vendors and bar for well under that amount. My mom invited a lot of her distant family and friends I never would have…
Then kept changing what she’d pay for.
So now… her contribution barely covers dinner and food at cocktail hour. We are covering beer during cocktail hour only, because we can’t do anything else. We’re paying for our photogrpahers, DJ and flowers.
It sucks. FI had to close out an old savings account and I had to negotiate my ass off at our venue/my job to make it work. We cut out a lot of things I had planned on doing – bar, hanging lanterns, additinoal decor, honeymoon stuff, bigger bridal party gifts and more little things.
It’s not been pleasant, and I hope something works out for you!!! We were lucky that we had a lot of No RSVPs that made it doable, plus a lot of Yeses that were kids and their dinner is much less expensive.