(Closed) FMIL comment…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Whaaaaaaat?  That seems absolutely uncalled for.  You are definitely not over reacting.  What is your relationship with her like? 

Post # 4
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Maybe she didn’t mean it to sound offensive! But I am sure I would have reacted the same too…and been somewhat speechless!

Post # 5
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That’s kinda rude.  I would let this one roll off your back, but if she continues to make comments like this, either you and your FH should definitely say something. 

The one thing I will say is that I’m a teeensy bit jealous.  All I get is “When am I going to be a grandmother?” from my FMIL.

Post # 6
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t get why she even said it?!?  How odd…you think she’d bring up the wedding first!  My family is exact opposite – they practically want me to pop out babies the next day!

Post # 7
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Well, perhaps she was thinking that y’all just dropped a ton of money on the ring and would be broke for a while? Maybe she thinks you should spend time together as a couple more?? Who knows? In Panama we have a saying: each mind is a universe. Who knows what the heck she was thinking when she uttered that. Did u ask her what she meant by that?

Post # 8
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

That is a weird comment.  Why do you think she said it?  Do you think it had anything to do with the ring that you guys had just paid for?  (Like maybe she thinks your guys spent too much on a ring and therefore can’t afford kids?)  I’m not saying that was the case but I’m wondering why she choose that moment to say that to you.

I have the opposite problem, everyone wants me to have kids ASAP.  Either way, it’s annoying, the decision to have kids should be between you and your husband!

Post # 9
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I don’t think you are overreacting. My FMIL hasn’t been too bad since I had FH say something to her when I moved in….she lives a mile down the road and I needed boundaries set then. She still says rude things though, just like that. Yesterday she told me FH wouldn’t like the wedding gift idea I had for him (golf clubs, instead of another tool, which she suggested. I buy him stuff for his garage every birthday and christmas, I wanted to mix it up and get something that would last forever, it doesn’t mean he has to use it everyday)……thanks….a lot.

I’d talk to FH and let him know it is a big deal and get his support now…..I can only imagine what will come when we have kids and she isn’t happy with how we are raising them.

Post # 10
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m finding that a lot of people feel they need to voice their opinions on this matter, whether they should or not.  My husband and I weren’t even married (granted we had been together for 7 years) and his mother kept bringing up the grandbabies she wanted- soon.  Now it would be one thing if it was just between us, but she did this constantly- in front of anyone and everyone!  So annoying.  Now that we are married, she brings it up about every time we see her.  

That being said, I don’t really think your FMIL should have brought it up (especially unexpectedly), but I would try not to get too upset up about it.  (Easier said than done- especially when FMILs/MILs are concerned!) After hearing my MIL and others bring this topic up, I’m not really surprised by it anymore.  I don’t think it’s right that they give their unsolicited advice/opinions on such a personal matter, but I’m not really surprised by it.  I suggest you try to ignore it this time.  If it comes up again and is really a problem, then something may need to be said.  Try to avoid all the drama you can; you have enough on your plate planning a wedding!

Post # 12
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Was she joking? FFIL said this to me once (“Don’t get pregnant right away!”)… it was in the context of how poor FI and I are going to be for the next few years, though, so it wasn’t out of the blue!

Post # 14
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Congrats on the soon-to-be engagement!

It sounds like she’s super involved in your lives, and so she probably doesn’t think comments like that are unwelcome. You might want to start drawing some boundaries if these types of things come up more frequently, especially as the wedding planning starts.

Your post about how comfortable money-wise they are made me think that you FI’s family (and not your FI?) is paying for the ring. That may be contributing to the snarky comment, which was definitely completely uncalled for. What did your FI say when you told him?

Post # 16
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

That is SO weird. I don’t think I’d marry him until he stops going to his mother when you two argue, though. 😉 Good luck with her! She sounds like a pain!

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