- 3 years ago
I have been a long time reader, but first time posting here! Sorry if this gets long, but my FMIL is driving me crazy!
Originally, I wanted a very simple, DIY, backyard style wedding. However, since my FMIL got a hold of our guestlist, it is now sitting at 200+ guests. To cut costs, I was going to only invite aunts and uncles, immediate family, etc and cut out cousins, distant acquaintances/relatives. His mother is unwilling to let go of any of “her” guests – her highschool friends, her cousins, her mother’s sisters, etc aka people we never see.
I have already compromised on having a larger venue even though I wanted something smaller. She is in love with the venue, but at $110 per meal (she considers this very reasonable), 200 guests is well out of the budget for me and fiance. We’ve tried discussing budget with them, and we know they have plenty of money and are willing to help us out, but they haven’t set any numbers yet. There is another venue I love that is half the cost, and only holds 80 guests but because it can’t fit everyone she wants, she keeps telling me that I am “settling” for the smaller venue, and we shouldn’t settle for something just because it’s cheaper. Whenever I mention costs being too high and needing to downsize, her only response is that my fiance and I shouldn’t have to pay for ANYTHING ourselves for this wedding (which would be awesome, but not reasonable in my mind), but they won’t come out and say what they plan to pitch in for us.
My family does not come from the same sort of money as them, and I certainly will not be asking them to help pitch on a dinner that in itself alone is going to be over $22,000!
I have no idea what to do. My fiance wants to go ahead and book the bigger venue because it is already filling up for that month, and although I’m sure that in the end his parents WILL cover it, I don’t want to assume and then be left with a huge bill. Plus, honestly I’d rather use the $22,000 for a house downpayment.