- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
To start, I was raised to be respectful. I say yes ma’am and yes sir, please and thank you, I always call my future in laws Mr. & Mrs, never by their first names…I have manners.
My Future Mother-In-Law is a piece of work! From day one she has hated me and can not given a valid reason. Reasons she has given which were knocked out were:
1. She was married before. (So what? Your son was in a six year relationship before we met.)
2. She has 3 kids. (Again, So what? Your son has a child from that six year relationship)
3. She is 5 years older than you. (And? It’s not like your son is a minor and I’m raping him! I’m 33 and Fiance is 29.)
4. I just don’t like her. (Well good for you, I don’t care for you either.)
Seriously, this woman is something else. My FI’s son can’t come to our home for his visits bc of me. His ex lied to the courts and got it put in the orders that he can’t be around me. We are in the process of going back to court now to get that part lifted. We are in front of a new Judge this time. So needless to say, Fiance goes to his parents house for his visits and comes home at night. I’m not welcomed over there at all. Even with the child is not there. Our first Christmas together was horrible. My mother passed away 6 years ago. I miss her a lot. When we decided to be together, I was looking forward to doing the family gatherings, spending time with Future Mother-In-Law, having that mom role in my life again. I later found out that they had tried to get my Fiance to come over for their Christmas party without me. She made it clear that I wasn’t invited. I spend months getting his parents the perfect gifts. I put them in my thoughts and really thought about meaningful gifts. Not only was I not invited, she didn’t even get me a gift or anything. Not even a card saying Merry Christmas or something. Now the gift part, you know, I don’t have to have one, but being that they went all out for my FSIL’s husband (at the time was her FI) and wouldn’t even get me a lousy card, well that hurt, a lot. Especially after I put so much thought into their gifts. I got them a group package so they could have a updated family picture with all the family, old and new members, I bought them this cute wooden sign that had their surname on it and all the family names on it….personal gifts. Any family get together, I’m always left out. Sadly, FI’s ex is psycho and holds their son over everyone’s head, refuses to pay her rent (FIL&MIL own her duplex), she lies, uses them for everything, but yet they still invite her to everything.
My older two daughters live with their dad three hours away. This was the arrangement he and I made at the time of divorce. My Fiance gets to see his son all the time. So we made plans to go see my daughters for my oldest’s birthday. We planned to be gone for 3 days. That was it. The entire time we are gone, Future Mother-In-Law calls and I mean blows up the phone leaving vm’s about You need to come see your son! There is no reason you need to be down there with HER and HER kids! Those aren’t your kids! You know what, yes she is right, they are not his biological kids, but we are a blended family and treat each other kids as if they were our own. I love his son like I do my own kids. They have refused to help him with the attorney for the custody hearing bc we were together. We had to pay for it ourselves which meant cashing out his 401k and getting nailed for a bad penalty for it. She called last weekend at 7am! She knows my Fiance is at work still at that time. It’s just plain rude to call someone that early unless it’s an emergency. I was livid! Yet again another snotty vm from her. My Fiance has 2 jobs. They know this. Fiance has explained to them the days he can come over to see his son. They pretend they don’t remember.
The odd thing is that they act like FI’s son is their son! Before his summer visitation started, they went and made all these plans for him without talking to my Fiance about it. Then to top it off, they schedule all this stuff on the days that my Fiance is off and can actually go over there. They went to Galveston last week. Fiance stopped by to see his son off (btw it was on days my Fiance was off so they took his time away) and he told his mother to call him when they got back home so he knew and could come over. She never calls and then ended up calling at the buttcrack of dawn demanding him come over. Seriously, if you’re going to plan vaca’s and whatever on the days that Fiance is off, don’t throw a hissy when he can’t come because he’s at work. Then to top it off, Future Mother-In-Law is constantly telling his son “Daddy is coming to see you today” knowing damn good and well that he won’t be able to make it bc of work. She gets his hopes all up and he’s all excited and then daddy can’t go and he gets upset.
Fiance has called them out on so much crap and I’m just fed up. Oh we also found out that a long time ago, my Maid/Matron of Honor and Fiance used to work together right? Well a nasty rumor was going around the hospital that the two of them were seeing each other. Which was not true. They just went down to smoke together on their breaks. So come to find out, it was Future Mother-In-Law who started the rumor and tried to get her fired! Who does that?!
All I ever wannted was to have a great relationship with my Mother-In-Law. Maybe someone to do things with, have lunch once in a while, hell maybe even help plan the wedding…instead I’ve gotten nothing but hatred and I don’t even know why. I’m at a point where I don’t want his parents at the wedding out of fear that she will cause a scene. I want our day to be about us and go as smoothly as possible with the exception of typical wedding day hiccups.
I’m so tired of being nice…I think about her always for holidays, mother’s day, etc…What do I get? A Bitchy Ass Attitude! I just don’t know what else to do. FI’s talked to her numerous times, she doesn’t listen. I don’t want Fiance to look at our wedding pictures down the line and regret his parents not being there. I just don’t know what else I can do.
Sorry this was so long, I just needed to vent I guess. Thanks for reading.