FMIL Drama *vent*

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

Usually etiquette dictates that she gets a say in the matter since she is paying for it. Is there any way you could get those three extra people in and then politely tell her you are at capacity to avoid any more being invited? Since she’s paying for the dinner and gifting you your honeymoon, it might be wise to graciously accept her generosity and choose your battles elsewhere. 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

I would be really annoyed. If she isn’t paying for anything then she really shouldn’t be saying anything. To invite people that the both of you don’t even know is really stupid. She seems really nosey.

Post # 6
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

idk, i think i’d let her invite the people if at all possible if they’re offering to pay for your honeymoon… that’s pretty great

Post # 7
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Well she did offer to pay, your parents just didn’t accept. That said, I agree that if you don’t have the room, you don’t have the room. 

Post # 8
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ugh! What a nightmare!

Can you offer to B-list them if a whole bunch of RSVPs come back no?

Post # 9
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@luluvohn:  I misunderstood–I thought she was inviting more people to the rehearsal dinner, not the wedding. 

Either way, I’d tread lightly. Let your FI talk to her and tell her you are at capacity (which I think he is doing already, you said). But I would still appear gracious to her and not snarky, even if she is being snide to you. Take the higher ground.  

 

Post # 10
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yikes! I hope under will understand that since neither of you have met her coworkers that you don’t really care that they don’t/can’t come to the wedding. 

 

 

Sorry you’re having a rough Go with your FMIL. If it makes you feel any better (in a it-can-alwaysbe-worse-kinda-way) my FMIL doesn’t like me, makes rude comments about me, trashed a present I sent to her, and has never even met me because she lives several states away! Nice huh? 3 yrs of dating you would think she would have come around already. 

 

Anyways I’m keepi my fingers crossed that this is the MOST stressful thing about the wedding and everything else goes off without a hitch! 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@luluvohn:  I am a believer that if guests don’t know the bride and groom, then they have no business at the wedding. Your MIL can throw a dinner party or something at some point, her coworkers don’t need to be at your wedding. I would just say that you already have a guestlist that you and your FI are sticking to and you are sorry that they cannot be added. 

Post # 13
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@luluvohn:  I just meant she should have a say since it’s her son’s wedding too and she offered money. FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and his parents have always been super generous with helping us move, inviting us over, and they are just nice people in general. My parents are only OK. FI’s mom wanted to invite a coworker who we never met. It was only one and his side is small so we told her it was fine. So I could see where she’s coming from if she didn’t really understand your space issues. 

That said, now our list is getting up there and I hear my venue is tight at around 180 so I am starting to stress, so I understand where you’re coming from. I just feel that the size should be a factor, not the fact that she’s not paying. 

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