- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
your allowed to want to be the only one in white. it's a pretty dress, i'd ask your fi to talk to her and ask to find something like it in another color.
Just tell her that you are following the no white ettiquette rule. Maybe since she's Latin American, it's a cultural thing and she doesn't know that it is frowned upon here.
Umm...she does realize this is YOUR wedding right? I would so not be ok if my FMIL wore white to my wedding. Since your FI said he'd talk to her, I'd take him up on that offer.
Welcome to my world. Just be honest, polite but blunt. That's what I had to do.
I think your wishes are perfectly sound and acceptable, but you know the situation the best. Honestly, when people see your FMIL wearing white they may not notice, or they may think that she is being very (dare I say it?) tacky. I would think that would be a concern that you and your FI could voice, along with some other suggestions of what colors would be good for her skin tone.
She can find something in a different color. Although I don't think it's a nice style dress, she should do the right thing and not wear white. If you don't think you like it now, imagine looking at her in that dress standing next to you in all your family photos.
Have your FI talk to her! But he should take the "it will be frowned upon" angle, not the "missjbear will be upset" angle. He should really stick with the idea that people see it as an insult to the bride, and that she wouldn't want to send that message.
Yeah I would ask her to change too & perhaps find her dresses that are similar to that style but in a different color.
Would she open to a darker "white" shade like a champagne color, or actually, I should ask are you okay with her wearing champagne?
I think you are being resonable. I wouldn't want my FMIL to wear white to my wedding! The outfit is cute, but can't she find it in a different color?! I would take up your FIs offer to talk to her for sure!!!
Hmm.. this is a tough one. I nipped this in the bud earlier b/c FMIL's asked me if I had a preference of what color they wear and I replied back "Anything but white! ;)"
But if FI's Mom emailed me that pic and said that's what she wanted to wear I don't know for sure how I would react. If she has a good sense of humor and you two have a decent rapport, I would joke with her and say "I don't mean to be a bridezilla, but I was hoping to be the only lady in white on my wedding day ;)". Since you said she gets super emotional, I would either reply back that FI was concerned about the dress being white OR have FI talk to her and say it's a beautiful dress but his preference is to only have his bride in white. Can't she find any other color for that particular event?
If it starts to escalate, to be honest I'd probably just drop it. I'd get her a HUGE flower pin to put on her jacket to cover up some of the white with pink and maybe buy her a nice pashmina too. Trust me, she will feel so uncomfortable with people asking her if she's the bride or why she's wearing white, she'll look bad not you.
Uhm, yeah. I'd tell her, no white unless you're the bride, no exeptions. You're not being unreasonable at all. I think it's so rude of her to even consider wearing white to someone else's wedding.
That's a pretty typical/generic suit. She should be able to find that in a color easily. Have your fiance explain the etiquette re: this situation to her.
Get her to wear a different color! You have every right to be uset...I know I would be!
I say just let her wear it. It isn't a gown or anything so she won't hold a candle to you. If this is what she will feel comfortable in then let her go for it. BTW Back in the day it wasn't uncommon to have MOB or the MOG wear white.
I thought that dress would be perfect for my FMIL....if only it weren't white. I don't love the idea of anyone wearing all white at my wedding either. I'd recommend saying something tactfully about how a shade of pink looks with her lovely complexion, etc.
Does it not come in any other color? Its a nice outfit, but its stark white. I wouldnt be happy.
I think the "guests don't wear white rule" is pretty clear on this type of situation. It's really considerate of you to want to stay away from unnecessary conflict, but I think most brides would not be ok with this. If you didn't mind at all, it would be fine, but clearly it's not something you're happy with. Have FI talk to her - good luck!
I agree...I'd ask her to wear another color. Or since your FI offered to talk with her, have him just politely say that you are the only one to wear white. Make it seem like it's his issue!
I wouldn't be upset as it is clearly a MOG dress and doesn't look remotely like a wedding dress. But even if it didn't bother you people are definitely going to comment on it and if she is sensitive it will make her uncomfortable. I would have your FI talk to her about it using that rationale so you don't have to be the bad guy.
I'm surprised that dress is even in the "Mother of the Bride" section on the site! Come on, back us up Nordstrom!
Tough situation. Iw onder why she chose that. I mean, its gorgeous, but doesn't everyone know to not wear white to a wedding? Weird.
Side note, where are you getting married? We are having a Pgh wedding! Heniz Chapel and PAA....I'm looking for a good baker in the area if you know of any!?
You guys are amazing -- I feel so much better now and am definitely going to speak up (or have my poor FI do it...). DollyLava, I think you're right, we should all complain to Nordstrom's! What are they thinking, putting those white dresses in the MOB section?!?
I would definitely phrase it as explaining the traditional connotations of the MOG wearing white and the message she will inadvertently send not you not wanting her to wear it.
I'd have FI mention that only the bride is supposed to wear white and it's considered a snub if she chooses to wear white. And, gee, gold and soft pink and light blue look so fabulous on her skin tone, why doesn't she wear something that accentuates her, not makes her look like she's trying to insult the bride?
Maybe if it's put that way, she'll reconsider. If not, well, everyone will just know she's being a Bia about wearing white. Hey, at least it's a suit and not a pretty frilly dress. A suit's a suit...very matronly for the most part.
I'd have him say something, I'm pretty sure it's common sense to know that only the BRIDE wears white :)
If I was at a wedding and saw the mother-in-law in a white dress, I would think that she did not not agree with the marriage. It is not ok for her to wear white. You should just be honest. I mean she did send you the dress for your approval, so you don't approve.
I would recommend having him say something to her - there has got to be another color she'd look great in!
Light pink also looks great on olive skin tones... its shouldn't be a problem to find a shade that really looks great on her, without having to resort to white. I think I agree with what may2011bride says - If I saw the FMIL in white, I'd instantly be like "She's trying to one-up her, I wonder what shes got against her?"
Your FMIL is being totally ignorant and rude. Wow. I think you should have your FI say something, but say it tactfully!
I agree with what a lot of others have already said regarding I don't blame you for not liking it, and your FI should talk to her from the "it is frowned upon" not the "it will upset you" angle. I just wanted to add that I can totally understand her being concerned about gray not being flattering to her skin tone. Also, given your colors, I wanted to suggest a blush/mauve color for her. It is so flattering on olive skin tones, and it would still compliment your pink and gray! Maybe it will help if she doesn't feel confined to the light colors. Good luck!
I would def have your FI talk to her. It's your wedding, you should be the only one in white! Has he talked to her yet? I'd have him do it sooner rather than later so she doesn't order it and then refuse to take it back or try to make you feel bad!
I understand why you are irritated, I have to say that I would be too. If she ends up wearing white she will be the one who looks silly, not you- I thought the "noboy wears white but the bride" rule was known by most, but the longer I'm in this community I keeps seeing similar posts so I guess I'm wrong.
I'm veitnamese and my mom came to me and told me she was looking for a white dress. I thought it was a cultural thing but I've talked to other vietnamese people and they said they have never heard of that before.
Well I asked my sister to see if she could talk my mom out of it. Well, at the end, my mom ended up not wearing white.
Phew! I'm glad that didnt happen.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| LammChop | 17 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 17 |
| Lyndzo | 15 |
| Mrs. Chai | 14 |
| ticatica | 14 |
| beargoose | 12 |
| MissPumpkinPie | 12 |
| BellaDee | 12 |
| Ms. Salamander | 12 |
| MrsOliveBird | 11 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| bookworm88 | 2 |
| Rivendeler | 2 |
| Ms. Salamander | 2 |
| GoldfishPie | 1 |
| PinkPinstripes | 1 |
| allihappy | 1 |
| mightywombat | 1 |
| angela85 | 1 |
| sara_tiara | 1 |
| claireos | 1 |
I'm trying to be low key about what everyone can wear to the wedding -- bridesmaids are all going to pick out their own dresses in a shade of light pink, for example -- but it's really bugging me that my FMIL wants to wear a white dress to my wedding. Be honest -- do I need to take a step back and just let this one go? Our colors are pink and grey so I guess better this than something that clashes... but seriously, I think this dress is lighter than mine is!
I had sent her a few dress suggestions in shades from silver to charcoal but she was afraid they wouldn't look good on her skin tone -- she's latin american. This is what she sent back. My mom got a light pink dress. My fiance is willing to talk to her if I want him to but I'm afraid of causing a fight -- she can be pretty emotional. Suggestions? Should I put my own irritation aside or should I/he say something? Thanks, hive!
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3053048/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6014165?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6014165&P=1