Post # 1
I’m trying to be low key about what everyone can wear to the wedding — bridesmaids are all going to pick out their own dresses in a shade of light pink, for example — but it’s really bugging me that my FMIL wants to wear a white dress to my wedding. Be honest — do I need to take a step back and just let this one go? Our colors are pink and grey so I guess better this than something that clashes… but seriously, I think this dress is lighter than mine is!
I had sent her a few dress suggestions in shades from silver to charcoal but she was afraid they wouldn’t look good on her skin tone — she’s latin american. This is what she sent back. My mom got a light pink dress. My fiance is willing to talk to her if I want him to but I’m afraid of causing a fight — she can be pretty emotional. Suggestions? Should I put my own irritation aside or should I/he say something? Thanks, hive!
Post # 3
your allowed to want to be the only one in white. it’s a pretty dress, i’d ask your fi to talk to her and ask to find something like it in another color.
Post # 4
Just tell her that you are following the no white ettiquette rule. Maybe since she’s Latin American, it’s a cultural thing and she doesn’t know that it is frowned upon here.
Post # 5
Yeah. I would have someone else break it to her. Would not look good in pics.
Post # 6
Umm…she does realize this is YOUR wedding right? I would so not be ok if my FMIL wore white to my wedding. Since your FI said he’d talk to her, I’d take him up on that offer.
Post # 7
I would ask her to wear another colour!
Post # 8
Welcome to my world. Just be honest, polite but blunt. That’s what I had to do.
Post # 9
I think your wishes are perfectly sound and acceptable, but you know the situation the best. Honestly, when people see your FMIL wearing white they may not notice, or they may think that she is being very (dare I say it?) tacky. I would think that would be a concern that you and your FI could voice, along with some other suggestions of what colors would be good for her skin tone.
Post # 10
She can find something in a different color. Although I don’t think it’s a nice style dress, she should do the right thing and not wear white. If you don’t think you like it now, imagine looking at her in that dress standing next to you in all your family photos.
Post # 11
Have your FI talk to her! But he should take the “it will be frowned upon” angle, not the “missjbear will be upset” angle. He should really stick with the idea that people see it as an insult to the bride, and that she wouldn’t want to send that message.
Post # 12
Yeah I would ask her to change too & perhaps find her dresses that are similar to that style but in a different color.
Would she open to a darker “white” shade like a champagne color, or actually, I should ask are you okay with her wearing champagne?
Post # 13
I think you are being resonable. I wouldn’t want my FMIL to wear white to my wedding! The outfit is cute, but can’t she find it in a different color?! I would take up your FIs offer to talk to her for sure!!!
Post # 14
Hmm.. this is a tough one. I nipped this in the bud earlier b/c FMIL’s asked me if I had a preference of what color they wear and I replied back “Anything but white! ;)”
But if FI’s Mom emailed me that pic and said that’s what she wanted to wear I don’t know for sure how I would react. If she has a good sense of humor and you two have a decent rapport, I would joke with her and say “I don’t mean to be a bridezilla, but I was hoping to be the only lady in white on my wedding day ;)”. Since you said she gets super emotional, I would either reply back that FI was concerned about the dress being white OR have FI talk to her and say it’s a beautiful dress but his preference is to only have his bride in white. Can’t she find any other color for that particular event?
If it starts to escalate, to be honest I’d probably just drop it. I’d get her a HUGE flower pin to put on her jacket to cover up some of the white with pink and maybe buy her a nice pashmina too. Trust me, she will feel so uncomfortable with people asking her if she’s the bride or why she’s wearing white, she’ll look bad not you.
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park
Uhm, yeah. I’d tell her, no white unless you’re the bride, no exeptions. You’re not being unreasonable at all. I think it’s so rude of her to even consider wearing white to someone else’s wedding.
Post # 16
That’s a pretty typical/generic suit. She should be able to find that in a color easily. Have your fiance explain the etiquette re: this situation to her.