FMIL dress problems

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

MissPhish:  I would let her dress herself. This just isn’t worth flaring up the situation between you and the FMIL.

She has been dressing herself for years without your direction. Yes, the first two dresses are too dressy, but she may think your choice is a bit on the dowdy side.

Post # 4
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

hahaha – I seriously had the opposite problem! We had an intimate/traditional/formal wedding and my FMIL wanted to wear navy ankle pants and a beige top. We were shocked since we’d asked our dads to  wear black suits and gold ties. Oh well, we let her be. My mom was in a full length dress. She standsout in photos, but I don’t even think she notices. Let her have her moment. 

Post # 5
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

MissPhish:  Does she live locally to you? Do you have time to go shopping together rather than ordering online? That way you could have some diplomatic input into her choice. Is there anyone else you could take with you that could also be a voice of reason?

Post # 7
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Let her wear what she wants. If she had selected something that looked like a bridal gown or that was aggressively costumey/sexy/tacky, I’d back you on suggesting a more demure choice.

In this case, neither dress is “RIDICULOUS”, even if they’re fancier than you think is best. She’s not a prop–she is your family and you really should have a better, less self-obsessed attitude about this.

If your FMIL shows up in a cowboy clown costume or strips and streaks nakey through your event, then maybe some of your photos would be ruined. Until then, chill.

Post # 9
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If she looks silly dressed up so much at a campground wedding, oh well. It doesn’t reflect on you. As long as it’s not indecent or anything, I think you should probably just let it go. What she wears won’t make or break your wedding or your wedding photos. 

Post # 10
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

Agreed, let her wear what she wants.  You can share pictures of everyone else’s attire to give her an idea, but beyond that, she’s an adult person who gets to dress herself.

Post # 12
Member
6747 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Is let her just wear whatever she wants- it’s on her if she is cold or uncomfortable that day.

Post # 14
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

MissPhish: No, not crazy! DH even talked to his mom about her outfit choice, but it didn’t matter. She said it was nice and casual for a spring wedding. She knew our wedding was formal. There really wasn’t anything we could do. She refused to find a blouse or blazer to dress it up. She thought she looked fine, and DH and her aren’t close so I think she was trying to make a point. Its OK because everyone knew who she was and just laughed it off. She was unaware, though. 

I didn’t have my FMIL help plan or do things with me so it was probably easier to let it go. I didn’t bring her dress shopping and DH didn’t even want her at the shower (she likes to make a scene if DH’s dad is around or his new wife — mind you have been divorced over 25 years). Have FI talk to her. He might be able to reason with her, but some people are just set in there ways. Sorry!

 

Post # 15
Member
7090 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s not white, it’s not skin tight, no cutouts, etc. There is no “tactful” way to tell her how to dress. It’s her son’s wedding, I can’t blame her for wanting to look nice, even if you don’t want a formal wedding.

I believe I have the short version of that dark dress and it’s really not that showy IMO… I almost wore it to my brother’s wedding where I was only a guest.

And sorry but I think the dress you suggested to her is hideous. Maybe you could suggest something a little more fashionable…

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