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FMIL Driving Mom & I CRAZY

posted 2 years ago in Family
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    1.
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    Worker bee
    fraggle0312    January 2, 2010   Ohio

    Big time vent here:

    FMIL keeps making *really* snarky remarks about being left out of the planning. Last weekend at a wedding on Fiance's side, she told the MOB that she didn't even know if our wedding was formal. Meanwhile, in reality, we've had THREE conversations with her about what exactly black tie optional means!!! Last night she really upset my mom by telling her she was really disappointed in the calligrapher because she spelled someone's name wrong.

    We brought her to our food tasting, brought her to the church and venue, she helped assemble both the STDs and invites, she listened to our band on their website (which is all we've done so far...they're from a few hours away), she knows what flavor cake we're having, she knows where we're going on our honeymoon... 

    Am I totally crazy, or have we done a reasonable job of involving her? Not perfect by any means (we really don't get along too well...she's Suzy Pessamist), but reasonable??

     

    Thanks, guys, I feel better...

     
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    Buzzing bee
    MissHelen    November 20, 2010   California

    (HUGS)

    Yes, I think you've done and are doing a reasonable job of including her. I'd say you've gone about five miles north of reasonable. But you hit the nail on the head...she's Suzy Pessamist. This is who she is and there's only so much you can do. Just be polite to her, include her where you can, and remember that she's like that and don't let it get you down!

     
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    Bumble bee
    Mrs. Louboutin    July 2010  

    You've gone above and beyond including her!  Perhaps she is just jealous she is losing her son to you, which is a bad way to look at it, but I can't see why else she would be upset.

     
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    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    You've definitely included her! Some people are just difficult! Do your best to ignore her and just keep doing what you've been doing - if she wants to have a bad attitude there isn't much you can do about it - just don't let it get to you!!

     
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    Helper bee
    TheDivineMissE    October 24, 2009   Eugene, OR

    I agree with Mrs.Louboutin. You're going above and beyond. All we told LH's mom was where to be and when. That's all she got. This is a good time to remind her, it's NOT about her. It's about you and your Mr. Good luck!

     
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    Worker bee
    fraggle0312    January 2, 2010   Ohio

    Thank you so much, ladies!!! I always know where to come when I'm feeling down about other people's bad attitudes about OUR wedding.

    I just wish she knew how little other FMILs are involved. Too bad she's only got one son and very little family...

     

     
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    Sugar bee
    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    I think you have done a great job including her.  Does your FI have any sisters?  If not, or they arent anywhere close to being married, maybe she is just upset because she doesnt have the opportunity to plan a wedding right now.  All you can do is try and if she complains about not being involved, its her that doing it to herself.

     
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    Sugar bee
    stephinPA    October 29, 2010   Reading, PA

    Oh you poor thing!  I"m so sorry she's being difficult. You are completely including her.  Sounds like she needs a good shaking...okay, I was just kidding...but maybe it would help.

    My FMIL is a PITA at times too. We've consistently told her why we're not inviting certain people on their side (we don't know them) and she still brings it up.

    They just don't listen.  She's lucky you're including her AT ALL!

     
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    Blushing bee
    Maestro    10/10/10   Baltimore

    First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this. It's hard when family doesn't cooperate. Is there anyway you can get your FH to intervene on your behalf? Tell his mom that she's being a Debbie Downer, reiterate to her how she's been included, and ask her to stay positive for his sake? Maybe hearing it from her own son will put things into perspective for her. Just a suggestion.

     
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    Worker bee
    fraggle0312    January 2, 2010   Ohio

    Thanks, guys!! She is a royal PITA and it's funny because she's totally a Debbie Downer and her name is DEBBIE!! How appropriate.

    I'm doing the best I can. I'm just going to have to pay somebody to keep her away from me on the big day...sigh...

     

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