FMIL E-Ring Drama

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

@ladychatterley:  Do you love your amethyst and your FI? Good. That’s all that matters. Your FMIL will shut up when she realizes you don’t give a shit about her opinion. My FSMIL threw a hissy fit when I said I wanted moissanite. I ignored her and I’m getting my moissy. 

Post # 4
Member
3673 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

You’re in good company here! Lots of Bees rock colored gemstone e-rings, and I’ve seen some gorgeous amethysts in particular.

My mom gave me a ton of shit for wanting a peridot engagement ring. When she actually saw how pretty it is in person and how happy it makes me, she shut up about it.

An engagement ring isn’t an engagement ring because it has a diamond. It’s an engagement ring because someone gives it to you with the promise of spending your lives together. You’re the one who will be wearing it for life, so pick something that makes YOU happy! Don’t let her bully you into a ring you don’t want!

Post # 5
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Like PPs said, go with what you like! It helps if you can make it about something relatively sentimental (e.g. amethyst is your birth stone, or purple’s your favourite colour) so if anyone judgemental asks why, you’ve got a ‘reason’ (a better reason than “it’s so pretty!”).

Does your FMIL actually like you? Because it sounds as though she’s trying to deny that you guys are engaged or going to get married (just from what you’ve said here), so if that’s the case, pretty nothing you do or say will be good enough. You and your fiance will just have to find a way to deal with it

Post # 7
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@ladychatterley:  Well she’s going to feel stupid when you DO get married. I would tell my FI what she said and how it made me feel and get him to tell her to shut the fuck up. 

Post # 8
Member
8905 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Wow, what a B!  I don’t have any advice for you except to stay strong and ignore that nasty nasty woman!

Post # 10
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@ladychatterley:  Oh lord. I hate that. I’m sorry. I would just try to ignore her and/or limit your time with her. What an awful woman. 

Post # 11
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ladychatterley:  You and your husband need to shut her down every time she mentions it. With lines like, “This is what I want”, “Lots of women have gemstone rings”, and “You’re not the one wearing it”. FI needs to back you up and be the vocal one. She is his mother so mainly it is his responsibility.

Lots of women rock gemstone rings. I have ruby (with diamond accents) and love it.

Post # 13
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee

@ladychatterley:   Don’t keep feeding the beast! She sounds like she always gets what she wants, and if someone had told her, “NO” from the beginning, everyone would have been better off. Even if it’s too late to change her, you ought to stand your ground  and get what you want! Sounds like she’s always going to find something to be unhappy about regardless, so you may as well just get your dream ring! Good luck, girl!

Post # 14
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Tell her to shut her trash mouth? lol

Because, as far as I was raised, calling somebody’s engagement ring tacky makes you at LOT more tacky than whatever they have on their finger.

 

Post # 16
Member
5445 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think this is really about your ring at all. It sounds like this is just one example of her poor behavior towards you and your relationship and I think your FI should have a firm conversation with her setting some boundaries for what he/you will and won’t tolerate from her. 

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