Post # 1
So FI comes home last night and says my mom gave you a present but I dont know if you want it. So its a book of letters and photos from when FI was stationed in Africa while he was married to his first wife. FI’s mother and ex wife compiled all the letters he had sent them while gone for a year to Africa with the Army. This was done while FI was married and his wife was pregnant.
I KNOW MY FI WAS PREVIOUSLY MARRIED BUT I CERTAINLY DONT NEED TO OR NEVER WANTED TO SEE THE LOVE LETTERS THEY WROTE BACK AND FORTH TO EACH OTHER!!!!!!
Now on the normal side im not a jealous person. I am not jealous of his ex now because its long over with them, she rarely contacts us or their children together. I have no rational reason to be jealous.
WHY IN THE WORLD MY FMIL WOULD THINK I WOULD WANT A BOOK OF PHOTOS AND LOVE LETTERS BETWEEN FI AND HIS EX I HAVE NO IDEA.
However I was calm about it…Im really proud of the fact I didnt lose my temper. I said to FI, “honey I think its a beautiful book but its not meant for me, perhaps when the girls are grown we should give it to them.” FI said that was a very good idea. I put the book in the back part of the closet. Tomorrow its going to the garage.
Okay I feel way better now. Im offended that she would even think I would want something like that….
How would you feel about it bees?
Post # 3
wtf? yeah, I would be a little upset. How random!
Post # 5
I would probably take that book, and smack her with it. WHAT the hell was she thinking?!
Post # 6
That really is strange. I would find a nice, archival-quality box, seal it inside, then pack it away in the attic or high up in a closet somewhere for safe keeping. I’m glad you recognize the importance of saving it for his kids, but there is no reason why you need to look at it or even care about it!
Post # 7
Oh my. I have been in a similar situation and I was not as cool as you, I totally lost my shit. I tip my hat to you madame for not ripping her a new one.
Post # 8
Maybe it was given with good intentions, aand I agreee with you I wouldn’t want it but you have the right idea about putting it away for the children, I would tell her “thank you I have put it away for the children when they get older” no need to make anything else of it.
Post # 9
I get SORT of.. that she would want you to have a piece of him from such a big part of his life. But maybe in the form of pictures of him there and stuff, NOT NOTES PROFESSING HIS LOVE FOR A WOMAN WHO IS NOT YOU.
What a nutty lady.
Post # 10
OMG. Weird. You poor thing! Well done for reacting do calmly and sensibly. Yeah you know they were married, but do you want to read their love letters..NO.
Post # 11
very very weird. I’m trying to play devil’s advocate and figure out what she was thinking. . .
I got nothin’
kudos to you for handling it well
Post # 12
Love your response – whatever her purpose was in giving that to you I have no idea but I do love how you handled it, nicely done!
Post # 13
@libanez: I was trying to be calm…FI knows his mother flip flops on liking me. One minute she is super sweet and then next minute she is not speaking to me
@mayflowerbride13: I would really like, I wanted to smack her after I caught her telling my FSIL that she wasnt planning for our wedding because she hoped an act of God or me dropping dead would stop the wedding. For FI I keep my mouth closed and I dont worry him with the drama cause he is a soldier and has tons on his plate right now,
Post # 14
You what now!?
A book with letters, sent to and from FI from his ex-wife? Why would you want that? Does she mention the ex wife often?
It is odd to me she would have the letters he sent his wife in anycase, but to give it to you is madness.
Could he maybe be letting you know he had it, maybe your MIL gave it to him and he wanted you to know how had it?
I would put it in the garage, forget about it and hope for some kind of damp…
EDITED TO ADD
@TexasSpringBride: I have just seen your reply. So she hates you then? To wish death on someone is a biiit much.
She is trying to goad you into a reaction. Don’t give her the satisfaction.
Post # 15
I am trying to imagine the reasons your FMIL thought you might want that as a gift…and I am coming up empty. But I think your solution of putting it in storage for now and giving it to FI’s daughters is perfect…although the evil side of me likes charlii.rouge‘s idea of hoping for damp!
Post # 16
What the…? How did you manage to not rip her a new one?