FMIL having a bit of a meltdown

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Should we decline FI's parents' offer to pay for rehearsal dinner?
    yes : (16 votes)
    25 %
    no : (44 votes)
    69 %
    other (explain) : (4 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    944 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @flapperphilosopher:  Yikes, I’d sit this one out and just let them make the arrangements. Don’t stress yourself out over this, it’s their responsibility to put their foot done on their immature/money hungry son. 

    If they host the swank party, that was there decision. Just as they have already decided to host your rehearsal dinner. 

    Post # 4
    42101 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @flapperphilosopher:  I would stay out of the situation till you see how it plays out. FMIL and FFIL are adults. They can stand up to FBIL and hold the engagement party when they choose. I don’t think you need to own any of this.

    Sit back, wait, see what happens. If FIL’s let FBIL bully them into an expensive engagement party, you and FI can together decide if you want to change plans re the RD.

    Post # 5
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @flapperphilosopher:  I don’t see why you shouldn’t accept their previous offer just because FBIL is obviously making a ridiculous request. It’s up your ILs to say no to him! It’s their money, their budget, and their decision. Now it’s possible that ILs will come to you to discuss what they can realistically contribute to your wedding/rehearsal dinner in light of FBILs expensive tastes. In that case, be kind and gracious and understanding. But it’s not your responsibility to initiate a change in your plans based on FBIL.

    Post # 6
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think your FBIL sounds like a whiney douchelord, and someone needs to tell him to grow the eff up.

    Between this and the proposal thread…i just can’t.

    Post # 7
    582 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @flapperphilosopher:  This sounds like a problem between your FIMIL and the Brother.  I think you and FI should stay out of it, but if asked be prepared to compromise on the RD or pay for it.  I think you should let them come to you, and not involve yourselves.

    Post # 8
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @julies1949:  +1 Definitely agree – I’d let them try to work it out on their own and steer clear of it for as long as possible. Once FBIL’s plans are set you could reconsider the rehearsal dinner. Best of luck to you!

    Post # 10
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    i think your in laws finances are their concern. they offered a gift, you graciously accepted… leave it at that. they need to figure the rest out themselves.

    Post # 11
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would leave the offer on the table that if it’s too much for them, you guys can pay for the RD. BUT I would leave it to your FI to make the offer, since it’s his family.

    Post # 14
    1834 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @flapperphilosopher:  your MIL needs to say “here is what we spent on your brother’s engagement party. We will happily spend the same on your party.” And that should be the end of that discussion. Your FBIL sucks! I predict this is an indicator of things to come…

    Post # 15
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Just stay out of this and let them do what they want to do. If they’re going to pay for the dinner, let them pay for it. It’s their son who’s being a brat, they can deal with him themselves.

    Post # 16
    6158 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    your FI should have a talk with his parents and ask if the financial burden will be too much for them to pay for the RD. 

    then you will have your answer.

    or you can wait for them to bring it up.  but if they said they would pay it, then they probably will.

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