Post # 1
I’m very close with my FMIL and love her to death, but she is having a really hard time finding a dress. She sent me pics last week of her in a bunch of summer maxi-type dresses (think tye-dye full length cotton dresses) that were way too informal for our wedding. I told her that I thought she should wear something a little more formal (she admitted to not knowing what to wear) and she sent me pics of another dress, but it looks horrible on her. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I just told her that maybe it would look better in person, but I didn’t like how it looked on her in the picture. I know this may sound bad, but she doesn’t really know how to dress her body type. She always wears clothing that is way too young for her (she constantly steals her 21 year old daughters clothing) and she really needs a better bra because it always looks like she’s not wearing one. I’d really like to go shopping with my FMIL to help her look for a dress, but she ALWAYS has my 3 and 1 yr old nephews with her (FSIL works overnights and practically sleeps all day, so FMIL is their main caregiver) and when she is able to get out of the house without the boys, she gets calls every 5 minutes because FSIL doesn’t know how to take care of them. I’d love to go shopping with her, but between the 2 of us, we’d have 5 children with us so it wouldn’t be as productive as we’d like. Please don’t bash but I need help finding a dress that will fit her body and age (i.e. nothing extremely blingy or short) so please give suggestions. I’d love to address the better bra situation so her nips aren’t popping through, but I don’t think that would be a good conversation to have lol
Oh and our main color for the wedding is red. She kept saying she wanted a darker purple colored dress, as it’s her favorite color (and I don’t mind purple at all), but hasn’t found one yet that she likes. She’s around a size 8/10 and 5’6″, but she is very busty.
Thanks in advance!
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle
HI, I am really close with my FMIL as well (we live in the same house) She finds it hard because she is very pear shaped and more conservative so bit different.. With the bra situation, ask her to come with you when you get the chance to shop then state “no.. that would look better on you” to try and get her to get it?!
The children aspect would be difficult.. can your FI help? are any old enough to visit a friend on the weekend?
Good luck.. Id mind them if you were my friend?! always loved looking after my nieces when they were younger..
Post # 3
How much do you think she wants to spend? That will have a lot of bearing on the types of dresses you can look for. Also, how formal is your wedding?
Post # 4
I found that a lot of the evening dresses/gowns I tried on had built-in support – cups and boning. I’m 40DD and top heavy; for my 1st MOB gown, I had the pads taken out, because there was so much boning, I felt like I was wearing a suit of armour.
I found that the MOB dresses I tried on were already made for pear-shaped proportions – for the 1st manufacturer (sized 12) I had the top let-out 2 inches and hips taken in 4, and the 2nd one was sized for my chest (12), but I was told that the hips would have to be taken-in 6 inches. Sounds strange, but I was shown the size chart. Both were fit and flares.
If you could take the time to shop-around a bit, and find a store that you think has possibilities, it would reduce the time you’re FMIL would have to spend out of the house. My older daughter could of gone with us at 3 – she loved shopping and was low-energy, but my 2nd daughter would have driven me crazy.
Post # 5
Can you arrange a sitter for all the children one morning or afternoon?
Do some scouting ahead to see what’s available locally. When you find a store with several possibilities, ask the saleswoman to bring up the topic of purchasing a good bra.
Post # 6
Thank you all. Apparently she bought the dress anyways, even though I didn’t like it. Now, she’s trying to find accessories in my bridesmaids colors to go with her dress… I’m not very happy because she’s only tried on maybe 5 dresses and I wasn’t there for any of them. I have tried my hardest to not be a bridezilla, but I think I’m going to have to start putting my foot down. This wedding is turning into something that I don’t want because everyone else is making decisions without my input.
Post # 7
- Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club
My FMIL bought a dress before I had even looked for a dress. It was very casual for what we were planning for the wedding. I was able to get her and my mom in a bridal shop together when I was choosing my dress and my mom “casually” picked through a rack of dresses intended for mothers and made coments like “this is beautiful” or “I hope to get something with beading like this”…
I think my FMIL realized the dress she chose wasnt really appropriate and she has begun her quest to find something new. It was great because I didnt have to come accross as the bad guy.
Is it possibe to get her into a bridal shop? Maybe for your dress fitting or to look at flowergirl dresses? Then you can casually peruse the racks.
As far as finding the proper bra I would be really casual with the comment. If you are with her when she is trying on dresses say something like: “wow that dress is beautifu, and with the right bra its going to fit you like a glove”.
As far as feeling a bit out of control with the choice, you may need to just let it go. My FMIL’s dress has been a huge pain in my ass for months, at this point honestly I dont care what she wears. What she wears isnt a reflection on me or my wedding and how she looks in pictures is her problem. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink…you have more important things to worry about. I decided I would rather have her happy with her choice rather than dictate what she wears and come accross as a bridezilla.
Post # 8
truefrommetoyou: is it the end of the world if she wears something you don’t like? Is she comfortable in it? My mother has no style. She loves the ugly 80’s clothes…lucky her the style is back! She bought this ugly dress with shoulder pads (she prob has 10 of these ugly dresses just like it in her closet from 1987 bc she’s a hoarder. Lol) for the wedding. You know what? Though I hate it, she feels comfortable in it so I told her to go for it. That’s who my mom is so why change her for a day?