FMIL having a hard time finding a dress

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle

HI, I am really close with my FMIL as well (we live in the same house) She finds it hard because she is very pear shaped and  more conservative so bit different.. With the bra situation, ask her to come with you when you get the chance to shop then state “no.. that would look better on you” to try and get her to get it?!

The children aspect would be difficult.. can your FI help? are any old enough to visit a friend on the weekend?

Good luck.. Id mind them if you were my friend?! always loved looking after my nieces when they were younger..

Post # 3
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

How much do you think she wants to spend? That will have a lot of bearing on the types of dresses you can look for. Also, how formal is your wedding?

Post # 4
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee

I found that a lot of the evening dresses/gowns I tried on had built-in support – cups and boning. I’m 40DD and top heavy; for my 1st MOB gown, I had the pads taken out, because there was so much boning, I felt like I was wearing a suit of armour. 

I found that the MOB dresses I tried on were already made for pear-shaped proportions – for the 1st manufacturer (sized 12) I had the top let-out 2 inches and hips taken in 4, and the 2nd one was sized for my chest (12), but I was told that the hips would have to be taken-in 6 inches. Sounds strange, but I was shown the size chart. Both were fit and flares.

If you could take the time to shop-around a bit, and find a store that you think has possibilities, it would reduce the time you’re FMIL would have to spend out of the house. My older daughter could of gone with us at 3 – she loved shopping and was low-energy, but my 2nd daughter would have driven me crazy. 

 

Post # 5
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Can you arrange a sitter for all the children one morning or afternoon?

Do some scouting ahead to see what’s available locally. When you find a store with several possibilities, ask the saleswoman to bring up the topic of purchasing a good bra.

Nordstrom’s

Adrianna Papell Sheer Sleeve Ruched Mesh Gown (Regular & Petite)Alex Evenings Embellished Ruched Bodice Long DressTadashi Shoji Lace Blouson Gown

Post # 7
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club

My FMIL bought a dress before I had even looked for a dress. It was very casual for what we were planning for the wedding. I was able to get her and my mom in a bridal shop together when I was choosing my dress and my mom “casually” picked through a rack of dresses intended for mothers and made coments like “this is beautiful” or “I hope to get something with beading like this”…

I think my FMIL realized the dress she chose wasnt really appropriate and she has begun her quest to find something new. It was great because I didnt have to come accross as the bad guy. 

Is it possibe to get her into a bridal shop? Maybe for your dress fitting or to look at flowergirl dresses? Then you can casually peruse the racks.

As far as finding the proper bra I would be really casual with the comment. If you are with her when she is trying on dresses say something like: “wow that dress is beautifu, and with the right bra its going to fit you like a glove”.

As far as feeling a bit out of control with the choice, you may need to just let it go. My FMIL’s dress has been a huge pain in my ass for months, at this point honestly I dont care what she wears. What she wears isnt a reflection on me or my wedding and how she looks in pictures is her problem. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink…you have more important things to worry about. I decided I would rather have her happy with her choice rather than dictate what she wears and come accross as a bridezilla.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  amoore2.
Post # 8
Member
415 posts
Helper bee

truefrommetoyou:   is it the end of the world if she wears something you don’t like? Is she comfortable in it? My mother has no style. She loves the ugly 80’s clothes…lucky her the style is back! She bought this ugly dress with shoulder pads (she prob has 10 of these ugly dresses just like it in her closet from 1987 bc she’s a hoarder. Lol) for the wedding. You know what? Though I hate it, she feels comfortable in it so I told her to go for it. That’s who my mom is so why change her for a day?

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