Post # 1
My FI and I have been together for nearly 7 years, he propsed last NYE. We finally set a wedding date in March of this year for July 3, 2011. Ever since that day, my FMIL has been hounding me and FI for every little detail. Weekly, I have been getting an email about what the mothers will be wearing. I have not picked out my own dress yet (decision will be made this weekend or next), I have not decided what my bridesmaids will be wearing nor has my mother thought about what she is wearing. So no, I hadn’t thought about what the mothers should wear.
So after all her pestering, I finally just told the mothers that they should just wear dresses, short, no black on the top half of their bodies and no obnoxious patterns.
I’m afraid that the rest of the time between now and July 3 will be filled with these pestering questions. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with these type of situations? Do you have suggestions on little projects I can give her from a distance (I’m in Boston, she’s in Pensacola) to occupy her time? HELP!
Post # 3
Well, I had sort of the opposite experience with my in-laws, in that they were very un-involved and I worried that I was bothering them with wedding details, but I found it useful to send update E-mails to them to let them know how things were progressing. You might find it helpful to set up a schedule for sending updates… maybe every other week or something. I would include links to the centerpieces I was considering, a link to our venue’s website, pictures of the BM dresses, etc. Maybe that will help her feel involved, but also give her a realistic idea of where you are in the planning.
As far as projects, I would offer to put her in charge of/ ask her if she would like to research some aspect of the wedding that needs to happen, but you don’t care that much about. Like maybe transportation or the hotel block for the wedding. She can do research and save you time, but it is something that doesn’t affect the look/style of the wedding much at all.
Post # 4
I’m sure she just wants to feel involved and is excited about getting a new daughter. Her e-mails are probably her way of being part of the wedding planning since she’s so far away. Maybe ask her what she’d like to wear and get her opinions on some things and she’ll feel like she’s appreciated and included. It’s tough to suggest an actual project with the distance though.
Post # 5
Maybe you could ask her to plan the rehearsal dinner? It’s fairly traditional for the groom’s family to host anyways and then she could feel involved with her own project, without intruding on the projects you are working on.
Post # 6
All good suggestions, unfortunately she can’t really afford anything. My FI’s dad and step-mother is paying for the rehearsal dinner and a few things for the reception. They have made it a point to include FI’s mom in the planning details with the understanding that she can’t contribute financially, but I don’t think she really feels like she is one of the hosts.
I do think I will start doing an every other week email with updates to the mom’s.