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Honestly, I think it's fine if she's super-insistent on it. I would prefer for MOB/MOG NOT to wear black (and they're not planning on it) but I wouldn't throw a fit about it either.
I think the traditional thing is not to wear black to weddings at all, but I think that "rule" has kind of gone out the window.
It's not really a big deal anymore, unless one of the mothers is one of "those" moms. My friend's mom wore a lovely black and sequined dress to her daughter's wedding and my mom almost got her dress in black (but decided red was prettier on her for a summer wedding). Black doesn't really carry the stigma it used to be. I'd be more sensitive to it if the groom's mother, say, was really sad and couldn't let go that her baby boy was growing up and getting married and couldn't move on with her life. So i think it depends on the intentions of the person wearing it. Typically though, i think black is just formal and classy.
I know my mom feels most comfortable in dark colors and will probably get a black dress. As for my FMIL, if she wants to wear black as well, then that's just fine with me. My BMs will all be in black, too. Honestly, as long as mothers/other guests don't wear white or off-white, I'm fine :)
I think that rule is dated and it's fine for mothers, as well as guests, to wear black to a wedding.
that's what i was thinking to, she's in no way trying to cause a scene, but she seems pretty insistant on wearing black since that's what she's used to :)
Actually, I've noticed that lots of guests at formal weddings wear black. I also thought that wearing black is just wrong, especially one of the mothers of the b and g ...
My FSIL threw a fit when her mother wore black to her wedding. She is still complaining about it 10 years later. I honestly don't see what the big deal is. I would rather she wore black than any shade of white.
I don't think the moms should wear black unless it is one of your colors or goes with your overall look. I'm putting my moms in complementary colors to the bridesmaids so our whole wedding party/family will look awesome. If she is most comfortable in black, how about a deep plumb or other deep jewel tone? It also depends on the season. Black would be more acceptable for a winter wedding than a summer wedding.
Totally depends on the venue, bridal party, and the person wearing it. For example I'm having a beach/day wedding. Black is out. The evening weddings I think its totally ok. If the bridal party is black (my GF did black with red sashes)....totally fine. Like some other people on here said....personality is huge too. If you have someone larger, feels more comfortable in darker colors fine. If she is confused and sees the sadness in the event more than the great/positive/happy day it is....not ok.
I guess I am little more traditional when it comes to those rules. I always thought black was a no no for guests or MOB/Gs for anything except for a nighttime, formal/black-tie wedding. However, I've been to quite a few weddings and at all of them someone was wearing a black cocktail dress. I wouldn't really have wanted my mother or my husband's mother to wear black, but I think it's really more of a personal/cultural preference now.
I also think the rule is dated now and not many people are following that. However, I personally wouldn't want anyone to wear black to my wedding, but that's just a personal preference but I wouldn't dictate what they wear, either - it's merely a preference for my own reasons.
If the mother is insisting on wearing black, I'd just let her to make her happy. :)
My Mom wore a black and white dress and I was totally cool with it. It looked awesome on her, fit with our colors, and I guess we weren't all that traditional anyways ;) I say let her at it.
My mom wore black and I was totally okay with it. I thought it was kind of an outdated tradition that black signified something bad at a wedding. I've worn a black dress as a guest and my BM wore black, so I thought it was totally fine for my mom.
Honestly, it would never even cross my mind that a mother wearing black to a wedding would be anything but fine!
I guess it does depend on the circumstances, but I voted no... black is traditionally a color of mourning, and wearing black is a traditional (but still not very polite!) way of indicating your disappointment/disapproval of the marriage. That's been forgotten for guest etiquette, but for mothers, who have so much attention on them and whose blessing is so important, I think black is still usually inappropriate. If the bride *wants* mothers in black, I'd still say it should be done carefully. Maybe one way to judge would be that a mother's black dress should be too festive for a funeral?
As long as they don't wear full on white. I dont really mind what they wear.
My mom's dress is black and silver. My FMIL has a black skirt and a red top. I don't care, they match my wedding colors without being too matchy, and they both will look good. That's all that matters to me. Now if someone wanted to wear white, we might have a problem... lol
Black is a very elagant color and very flattering on many people. My FMIL wore a very dark brown that almost looked black. She looked great and to be honest I didn't even notice what she was wearing until I saw the photos! I had so much to be concerned with that day!
I'm a HUGE believer in the whole - NEVER wear white to a wedding thing (unless it's one of those Southern - everyone wears white things… those are so cool!!)
I've never heard of no black as a rule but I hope that's not the case - I can't tell you how many weddings I've worn a LBD to. I think it depends on your wedding colors too. I wouldn't notice it all on a MOB/G.
I did ask my Mom not to wear black, but that's only because I know WHY she wore black to my brothers wedding - she hated my ex-SIL (with reason since they got div.) and wore black secretly out of mourning. No one noticed because it was a very nice dress but I knew. I told her she can't wear black & she said she was planning on wearing pink - what a weight off my shoulders.
I wanted my MOM and MIL to love whatever they wore in whatever color they chose. They both ended up partially in black and no one batted an eye. They looked great and were happy so I was too.
My FMIL is going to wear a black dress, one that she wore to FSIL's wedding earlier this month. At first i was not sure I'd like it, i mean yikes, black for the groom's mom? But... she looks fabulous in this dress and she feels pretty in it. It's the least I can do. :-) And heck. I wear black dresses to weddings all the time. It's pretty common now i think!
My mother is my MOH and she's wearing black. I think FMIL will wear black as well, but this is not set in stone.
if she really wanted to i wouldn't care. my mom has an issue with black in general, she has just taught me that you should be colorful, and black is boring. so i have a little black dress that sits in my closet and has never been worn, and i would never chose black for others either.
While I could care less if guests want to wear black, I would prefer the mothers avoid black (just seems sort of "unhappy") but it's not the end of the world if that's what they really want.
For a really formal wedding wearing black might be more in line with the mood of the wedding, I suppose. But for a more laid back wedding it seems like the moms could choose something else...
I think it's fine, so long as the FMIL does't obviously hate the bride or is not protesting about the wedding : )
As long as she doesn't look like she's in mourning. ") but a simple black dress can be elegant. Some brides even but their BM in black so why not?
I'm sorry but I will always read into a black dress at a wedding on the mother or MIL. It just seems too funeral for me. My mom is having a tough time finding dresses that she likes that might go with my black and white color scheme but there are some nice gold and silver color family dresses out there that I want her to pick. I just can't imagine black unless it was like some themed wedding where it might work out. L
absolutely!! my mother had a friggin' heart attack when i wore black to her wedding, not because it was black, but because the dress was fantastic!! i am seriously going to make her wear black to my wedding to show her hey it just looks good, not morbid or any crazy thing like that!! for me it was sophisticated and sexy... however if i would have known that everyone else was wearing white, i may have rethought it.. .LMAO!!
LOL I was watching "Monster in Law" Jane Fonda's character's MIL wore black because "She was in mourning" I think if she feels comfortable with a darker color maybe navy would be more appropriate and you can brighten it up with the flowers in her corsage. That is only if you're concerned about guests speculating.
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a few people have commented to me that it is a major faux pau for mothers to wear black, but i thought that guests just weren't supposed to wear white. whats the consensus of the hive?