Post # 1
I’m sure many of you have been through this. My Future Mother-In-Law wants to basically invite everyone she’s ever met to the wedding. We went along with it but now it is getting out of hand. We had to tell her, “NO MORE,” but I feel like it’s already too many people we don’t know. Waste of invitations, waste of money. The best part is – Fiance AND I ARE PAYING FOR THE WEDDING. OURSELVES. And his parents have plenty of $$ to throw around. They paid for our honeymoon, and an add-on to the cocktail hour that I didn’t want. My parents are paying for the invites, flowers, favors, and another addition to the reception, at dessert. And they paid for the engagement party, which we invited everyone that FI’s mom asked us to invite.
Now, my mom is throwing my bridal shower and at the last minute, Future Mother-In-Law insists we need to invite three more people “because they’re my friends!” Who I’ve met maybe once. My mom is barely inviting any of her friends, because, guess what? The bridal shower is supposed to be for the bride…
I don’t know what to do here. I’ve stood up for myself with this as far as I can without starting a fight, but she keeps insisting. I find it strange that she thinks this deserves to be all about her, with no consideration for the fact that my parents are stretching themselves financially to do the things they are doing for the wedding. Whereas Future Mother-In-Law will give, but always excepts something in return.
All she keeps saying to me is, “Well if you invite more people, you’ll get more gifts. Don’t you want more gifts?” SO TACKY!!!!!! It’s not all about gifts!!!! It’s about celebrating us getting married!
Post # 3
Definitely your fiancé should get involved here and tell her to cut it out! You could always set a rule that past this point, any additional invites are on her dime. Or tell her there is no more room. I am thinking my FMiL will want to try the same thing so we are going hard and strong on a number for her, and she has already agreed to pay for the people my fiancé doesn’t even know.
Post # 4
Involve your fiance to reason with her. If he doesn’t say anything, I’m sorry to say you’re probably out of luck. Where does he stand on all of this?
It’s my firm belief that the people paying for a majority of the wedding are the ones who decide the guest list. If her inviting extra people to your wedding is going to cause you/your fiance a lot of extra money, he really needs to talk to her. Hopefully invites havent gone out yet!
Post # 5
If there is room at the venue and you don’t mind extra guest I would suggest your Fiance ask her to pay for those people. If you don’t want to increase your guest list your Fiance needs to be the one to tell her this is not ok.
Post # 6
Unfortunately for her, if shes not paying, she has to play by your rules. And if that means that you only want 5 of her friends invited, that’s what she has to do. Its so rude to invite everyone youve ever met on someone else’s dime. If she wants to invite all those people (and your venue can hold them and your fine with having a larger group of people), I would tell her she absolutely must pay for them.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
You’re sending out the wedding invites, right? Then you tell her- “you have XX number of invites for friends/family” and stick to that number.
Post # 8
Since they do have the $$ to throw around I would have your Fiance approach them firmly and say: This is what we can as far as our budget and venue. If you would like to add people we will let you know what the cost is to accomodate those. If you don’t want to do that, then we need you to stick to this number of people.
Post # 9
Actually judging from their addittude I wouldnt’ tell them to pay for their extra guest so they can invite a bunch of strangers to your wedding. I say give them a number and stick with it. –
Post # 10
Yeah, I just got my invitation last week.