FMIL inviting people I don't know to bridal shower…

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
42166 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

BowTiedKangaroo:  Fortunately, you are not the hostess , so I would let it go.

If FMIL wants them invited, knowing they are unlikely to attend, I would respect her wishes.

Post # 3
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

I would let it go ONLY if they are also on the wedding guest list. If they are not, they should not be invited. If they are on the list for the wedding, I do think 50% of the guests should be from his side as well. Just my opinion. If it is a matter of money, then explain to your FMIL that they cannot afford additional guests and see if she offers to pay for them. If not, then she should understand about them not being invited. 

Post # 4
458 posts
Helper bee

I think that’s a pretty common thing; I haven’t had my shower yet, but some of my friends have had people that they didn’t know very well at theirs because they’re somehow related to the future groom.  If they don’t show up, nothing to be upset about; but if they do, just be gracious and loving 

Post # 5
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

BowTiedKangaroo:  Agree, let it go. Your FMIL will have to talk to your aunts if she wants to invite people, then your family can tell her whatever they decide.

My FMIL invited people that I don’t know to my shower too… and they weren’t invited to the wedding… so did my gramma and my mom. And none of them were throwing the showers! My BMs did all the work. Bleh, it sucks, but it happens.

Post # 7
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I unfornately had the exact same issue for my bridal shower this summer. My two aunts hosted, my mother stayed out of it, but my hubbys mother HAD to be invovled. I was not allowed to know anything (eventually drama leaked out to me) and I just calmly informed hubby that his mother was making this process very difficult for a few people. 

All in all… move on and let it go. If you’ve never met the extra guests attending, make sure your FMIL introduces you!! Our wedding list was beyond the number of guests I ever wanted but it turned out beautiful. Just think of the light at the end of the tunnel… you’re marrying your best friend!  

Post # 8
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014


BowTiedKangaroo:  I disagree that it’s “normal”. It makes absolutely no sense to have people invited that you nor your FI know very well, if at all. I can’t imagine my mother or my MIL trying to intrude on my shower like that.

Post # 9
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Only if they are also invited to the wedding should they be on the shower list. I do agree with PPs, that a shower is a more intimate event. While I’ve been to showers where I’m really more of a friend of the groom than the bride, these 6 people don’t really sound to be appropriate guests. “They will almost certainly not know who I am when they see the invite”– if they don’t know your name, should they really be at a party honoring you? I think not.

Post # 10
732 posts
Busy bee

I invited my MIL’s friends/relatives to my shower. I had only met a couple of them, but that is typically how showers work on the IL side from what I have experienced. Only a couple were actually able to come to the shower though. (Invites got out a little late, but that was okay with me!)

Post # 11
585 posts
Busy bee

BowTiedKangaroo:  I just had one last week hosted by my mom’s friend. my FMIL invited some people I have never met. I thought it was kinda presumptuous, but didn’t really think much. The most awkward part was having to introduce myself to people at my own shower and they were bringing me gifts! Kinda weird…

Post # 12
7936 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I wont know most the ladies at my shower, it’ll be mostly my new family. Theyre there to celebrate you! It’s okay.

Post # 13
4965 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

BowTiedKangaroo:  Are these ladies invited to the wedding? If not, then no, they can’t be invited to a shower!

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