FMIL inviting people to your wedding…Thoughts?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you invite this lady AND HER FAMILY to your wedding??
    Yes : (6 votes)
    26 %
    Hell no : (17 votes)
    74 %
  • Post # 3
    7055 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @SecretBee23:  You say you’ve never met her… but has your fiance? i.e. is she like the main host, and has known FI all her life?

    You don’t need to invite her, but if she’s going to all this trouble (EDIT: AND if she’s known your FI for a long time) I don’t see the harm in inviting her and her partner. Not the rest of her family though.

    Post # 4
    871 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @SecretBee23:  I would say her husband (or partner or whoever) and her should get an invite but not kids or anything. That way it is only two seats. I think if she was NOT hosting the shower you should just say no and let that be that but unfortunately since she decided to add herself on (which is weird since she didnt get a STD) it probably is in your best interest to invite her but that does NOT mean her whole family gets an invite. 

    Post # 5
    8850 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    if she’s really important to your fiance and/or in-laws, I would.  (Unless they already added like 25+ other “family friends who have to be invited”…)

    Post # 6
    5162 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    No, you aren’t wrong for being annoyed.  They should have known who was invited to your wedding before they went and asked people to host the shower.  I’ve often heard of friends of the Mother of the Bride/Groom being invited to the shower only by the MOB/MOG which I think is fine (it’s their ettiquite to decide on, not the Bride’s)…but hosting?  That’s a bit much.

    At this point I would invite her because I’d be to embarassed not to, but I’d also ask my FI to make sure his mom is not going to lose cannon invite anyone else.  If she were paying for the wedding it would be different.

    Post # 7
    141 posts
    Blushing bee

    Is it possible to invite her Just to the dance part of the reception? I know you’ve still got a  nonth of so to go, but it still seems a bit late to add in extra people… especially ones you haven’t met. At this point I’m guessing you have already started working on final details for the reception… 

    It might come across as a bit rude to only invite her to the dance, but at least she would have somewhere fun to go for NY’s!? 

    Post # 8
    2076 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    That really sucks, but if she is co-hosted the shower, she definitely needs to be invited.  I definitely wouldn’t invite her kids though.  It is really annoying, but not everyone you invited is going to attend anyways.  

    Post # 10
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    It sounds like your FMIL accepted this shower on your behalf. Since you didn’t accept the offer, there should be no “you HAVE to invite her.”

    How does FI feel about it?

    Post # 11
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    This is sticky.  You don’t want to be rude but at the same time, I’d worry about setting a precedent that your MIL can make unreasonable demands and have them accommodated….

    Post # 12
    7 posts
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @thenewmrsmax. +1


    it seems a bit funny that someone you dont know would host a shower for you. Sure she might have known FI for a long time but its a bridal shower not a groom shower. Some people just have no clue about these things. Dont feel guilted into inviting them, just use the excuse that this close to the date numbers have been finalised and no more can be added

    Leave a comment

    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors