- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
So, my future Mother In Law is actually my FIs stepmother. She is quite a bit younger than her husband, but has been my FIs stepmother since he was about 6 or so. I completely understand that she has taken on the role of his mother.
She is 41 and I am 30 and my Fiance is 27.
She is always referring to us as “kids”. I have a really hard time with that considering that I have friends who are her age. But I have learned to try to look past this, as I can see why she does this.
She is also in construction, as a finish carpenter, so she is a little rough around the edges, although very nice. His family and mine are quite different in that aspect- his are into guns, quads, dirtbikes and bonfires, while mine have always been slightly more sociallites than redneck.
HERE lies the problem!!! She is trying to be nice and make suggestions for our wedding, but it’s driving me crazy because I feel so mean for telling her no!!!
She has been telling me how her wedding only cost her about $500 and can’t believe that ours is going to cost around $11-$12000.00 when all is said and done. It’s hard to hear her say these things because my parents are the ones footing 80% of the bill! We are paying for the rest, except for the keg that his parents want there- my mother said that she wouldn’t pay for the alcohol. My Fiance and I are paying for the wine and champagne.
ALSO- she is trying to make my BMs jewelry but to be quite honest, it isn’t elegant enough for me.
I just can’t get her to understand what we are trying to acheive- an elegant, classic event. She wants cheesy, thrift store finds! Not that I have a problem with second hand, but there comes a point when the stuff should get retired!!!
My family also didn’t want a money tree or a money dance because we are spending so much that we thought it would look tacky to ask for money during the event. She was very adamant about making a money tree for us, but when I tried to explain that I didn’t want one, she says, oh- come on! You might as well rake it in!
I just need help handling her in a way that doesn’t offend her.