Post # 1
Hello Bees! Well my Future Mother-In-Law is at it again! I will give you some background information. When we got engaged she told me a head of time that Fiance was going to propose because she wanted to have an engagement party with her friend….WFT? I was upset she ruined the surprise but I let that go.
I will start of by paying that I am paying for the wedding. then I let her pick the date so that she could feel involved. When we started to look for Venues I send her all the info for the places we were looking at. We found on that we completely loved and it was in our budget. I told her about it and offered to take her however she was too busy to go. We booked the venue and she went crazy she told us to go to hell.
I was in shock when I saw this. She then went and called al of her family members and told them how bad I was because I am not keeping her involved and bad mounted me as well. I personally do not care what people think so I just ignored her. She then called me crying and screaming about how hurt she was and these made me more upset at her childish behavior. She eventually apologized I told her I will not tolerate that kind of behavior from anybody and I kept my distance. This all happened in July since then I have planned the wedding by myself since I do not want to put myself in that position again.
Fast forward to January we are getting ready to buy our invitations. She has been very kind to me and want to buy the invitations from India (FI is Indian and I am Mexican). I agreed to have the invitations done in India that is the only thing I had agreed upon. I ordered the STD and I am going to send them out this month. She does not want me to send STD to his family instead she want me to send them Email STD. OK so I sent her a trial STD email sample and she did not like it. Too bad too sad.
Now she also found out that I am going to register for my bridal shower thru our wedding website. She is demanding that I should not have a registry and request no box gifts. WTF! That is so rude! Yes I would prefer cash however I would never do that to our guest. I tried to explain to her that we are not entitled to gift and if our guest does not have a lot of money they can go to target and get something small and not feel bad. I do not want our guest to feel obligated to give us anything. I was on the phone for 45 min!!!! After the 20th “NO” I said I would take into consideration.
I got a call from her today and asked what I was going to do. The answer is still NO NO NO NO NO NO…….NO! Then she tells me “what the hell am I asking for her option if I am not going to listen”….. In my head I am thinking “OH HELL NO! REALLY…YOU WANT TO GO THERE?”. I kindly told her that I did not ask for her option she is demanding that I take her unsolicited advice and we already had a conversation about her talking to like that in case she forgot. She then said she was going to tell all of her family it is cash only gifts and she will buy invitations for her family only. The hell with that! I just told her to forget the invitations I will get them myself. GRRRRRRRR
Why…..Why would someone act this way! Sorry ladies I know this is very long. Sorry I had to get this out of my chest.
Post # 3
Sounds like she is the ‘Zilla in this! Good for you for standing your ground and still being kind-hearted enough to continue to try to keep her involved. I think you are doing a great job with handling this situation.
Post # 4
She sounds like a sack of nuts
Post # 5
Wow, I’m so sorry, she sounds like a monster. She’s probably used to being in control over the lives of her family, or at least her son, and isn’t too happy about giving the reigns to someone else for a change.
How has Fiance dealt with this so far? I definitely think this is a situation where he needs to stand by you and tell his mother that if she loves him, she needs to respect you as well.
Post # 6
I am very blessed to have a Fiance that stands up for me. She is used to controlling him by the way. In our little chat last night she said I was being hard headed and stubborn. I told her to talk to Fiance. Guess what she said. “I can convince him it’s you that won’t budge”. That’s right lady I have a mind of my own!
Post # 7
Can I tell you that my BFF had the EXACT same issue with the invitations with her MIL? Her husband is also Indian, and very much controlled her son until my BFF came along and married him. She was having issues with the invitations and wanted to put “no boxed gifts” on them, and my BFF refused. So she went ahead and had invitations printed for his side of the family only. Luckily, her SIL let her know what her Mother-In-Law was doing so that her husband could put the kabosh on that! Good for you and your Fiance for standing up for yourselves!
Post # 8
currently how much interaction do you have w/his side of the family?
after wedding how much will you see them???
what im thinking is they know she’s crazy so i wouldnt worry about it looking bad on you. i would just let go…………………….and let her do her own crazy. go ahead and let her spend her time making 100s of phone calls and gossip and act insane crazy!
if youre a good person, theyll know the TRUTH!
DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO REGARDLESS OF HER, but dont try to manage her excessively. like do your registry and do YOU, BUT if she wants to tell ppl and make calls to give you cash, dont fight it. it’s a waste of YOUR PRECIOUS TIME.
it seems too stressful for you to try and manage it all. you have other things to worry about.
from today on
have your Fiance deal with her. kill her with kindness.
DO NOT ACCEPT ANY OFFERS FROM HER OR IT’LL BITE YOU IN THE FACE. ex. invitations.
Post # 9
I have a similar situation with Fi’s mom. FI’s mom thinks she can dictate the time, location, guest list, etc event though she is not paying. The best thing to do is to not mention the wedding, don’t include her in it. She is not paying and that is that. You have tried to be nice and include her, but she has taken advantage of your generousity.
Post # 10
This sounds like a cultural thing. Maybe talk to your Fiance or someone else in the family and find out the meaning behind it and go from there.If it is still something you can’t compromise with have Fiance talk to her. He needs to be a united front with you and stick up to her.
Post # 11
EEEk! It sounds like she had a lot of control over everything before you came into the picture, and now she feel threatened that you are the one making all of the decisions for you and your fiancee (which you should be making those decisions, along with your fiancee).
I think it’s time to get your fiancee involved. It’s his mom– and it’s also his wedding. She needs to stop making this about you, and step back and look at how some of this things come across in her SON’S wedding. Does she really want to offend people by asking for money? Or only sending out invites to some people? See if your fiancee will get involved so the two of you have a united front.