(Closed) FMIL is obnoxious

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You can’t win anyway, so don’t try anymore! Seriously, you don’t have to maintain niceties with people who despise you for whatever reason, family included. Your Fiance has “no clue what to do” and that’s his mother, so until she can get a clue and stop with the drama, just don’t be around her. I repeat, you do not have to play into this anymore. This is your life, your partner, your child. You do not have to be around anyone who doesn’t want you in their life. So stop with the attempts, stop with the visits, and be done. If she cries about drama or puts it on you just say “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Don’t fuel their delusions, don’t start fights. If you stay away, you take their power away. Let her be spiteful and miserable towards someone else, you’re done. Yes, I have been through this and I speak from experience. My life is SO much better since having a moment like “You know what? I don’t have to do this anymore.” So I stopped, and now I only regret not doing it sooner (not talking about Mother-In-Law but another relative).

Post # 4
10 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

I am having problems with my Future Mother-In-Law like that as well. The part about bringing up issues to her is spot on! My Fiance and i were trying to work out how our careers will work since in his line of work it is normal to jump from city to city and in mine, i need stability. She told me that in every houshold theres a breadwinner and there is the one who just does what they want and since my Fiance will be the one to take care of me, I should just go along with him. It made me feel put down and I told her I don’t want people to think I’m just being taken care of and that I hope it’s 50/50 between my Fiance and me. She got so upset and said how dare you, we have opened our hearts to you. It was as if I told her to go to hell (which was what I wanted to say). She has a way of crying and trying make everyone feel bad for her. 

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