(Closed) FMIL is really making me not want to have kids.

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Is this a vent? I totally don’t want to rain on your parade if it is, but I have an almost two year old, and I talk to her like she can understand me, so that she can get a grasp on the english language. I mean, it’s not like I’m not going to talk to her just because she only speaks in 4-5 word sentences right? I think it’s a grandparents job to worry about their grandchildren, and in this case I would much prefer the grandmother to care too much than to be unobservant, especially with a young toddler. You never can be too careful!

Post # 4
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

I can definitely understand your stress–any time you’ll have different parental approaches than your in-laws or even your own parents, it can be uncomfortable to have to deal with how they handle the situation vs. how you handle the situation.

Right now, since C is your nephew, unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do about how she treats his scratches/bruises. When YOU have children, however, if she goes on and on about a scratch or bruise on your kid that you don’t deem a big deal, you’ll be able to tell her “we don’t like to make a big deal out of these things in front of our child so it doesn’t freak him or her out unnecessarily.” Yes, there will probably be uncomfortable conversations where you disagree, but when you’re the parent, you set the boundaries. Period.

Sorry you have to deal with the frustration! I’m sure that her freak-outs are coming from a good place where she just wants her grandchildren to be safe and happy, but I don’t doubt that it can get irritating after awhile!

Post # 5
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

She sounds a little annoying but it’s just a grandmother thing. Also I agree with the PP on the way she speaks to the toddler. Very normal and helpful to engage the child in conversation. You never know how much the child actually understands, she doesn’t need to speak to it like a dog, lol. Kids are very bright at that age and picks up on a lot. My 2 yr old daughter remembers things that happened 6 months ago and can tell me about them in detail. Just set your own boundaries with her when it’s your child. You also don’t know how you will react to these situations yet as a parent. I was so sure I would do things so different with my child before she was born. My Mother-In-Law drives me nuts when it comes to my daughter though sometimes so I do understand the need to vent 🙂

Post # 6
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Is this her first grandchild? My guess is that if he is, she’ll likely calm down with future grandchildren–hopefully.  I understand where you’re coming from. 

The topic ‘FMIL is really making me not want to have kids.’ is closed to new replies.

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