(Closed) FMIL is SO insensitive Ugh!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My dad died when I was 16, so he won’t be at my wedding either. There is no way we are doing a mother/son dance. I shouldn’t have to feel like crap on my wedding day, and it would only make me sad. My Future Mother-In-Law would never be so insensitive about this. She is just being rude. You could always do a mother/daughter dance with your mom instead. But I understand how hard it is. Don’t feel pressured to do it if you don’t want to. His mom can just dance with him for a song everyone else is dancing to as well.

Post # 4
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you TWO decided together to not do formal dances, stick with that. However, just b/c she’ll get to dance with another son at another wedding doesn’t mean that she shoudln’t be upset that she doesn’t get a mother/son dance at this wedding. I’m sure she is handling it all really poorly and being really nasty about it all, however, I can totally understand why she’s still upset, regardless. If my SO wanted to dance with his mom, I’d make it a time that I’d quietly step out of the room or did a quick group photo with somebody in the back of the hall or something (i wouldn’t want to have to watch it, it would make me sad, ya know?) but if my SO didn’t want to and was OK not dancing with his mom (i can’t see my husband NOT having that moment with his mom), then i’d let him handle the situation and tell his mom WHY and that it’s a closed discussion and to stop bringing it up.

Again, I can see why she’s upset about the situation but I’m guessing that the way she’s handling this and a lot of other situations is making you less sympathetic because of her lack of sympathy. I bet if she came to you nicely and said how much it’d mean to her, it’d be a different issue.

Post # 5
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with you on the insensitive part. It’s not like you just aren’t dancing with your father he unfortunately is no longer with you (very sorry for your loss btw) and you aren’t able to. She should see how much a parent dance would upset you. Fiance should say something to her about it and how you aren’t doing it to spite anyone, it would just be very emotional and hard for you and you don’t want to ruin your wedding.

Post # 6
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Wow, she is being insensitive. If she knows about your situation then she shouldnt be pushing so hard for this. I could imagine deciding the same thing if my father had passed away. I can see why she is upset, it is her son and she wants that traditional dance but its a little unfair to be the way she is being. Maybe yall should try to sit down and have a talk about this?

Post # 7
64 posts
Worker bee

I completely agree with you. And since you two have already decided not to have it, you two should just stick with the decision. And if your Future Mother-In-Law keeps being upset, your FH should stand up to her and just say no. Period.

The topic ‘FMIL is SO insensitive Ugh!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors