Post # 1
Okay, this may be a bridezilla moment and if it is, just let me know and I will chill. But, her dress is going to be MUCH fancier than my BM’s and she is trying to match their colors exactly! I finally convinced her to wear our accent color which is going to be on my Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man but now she wants her husband to wear the same color and match our Best Man which is her son also. Sorry but, no. I am putting my foot down on that one. And what makes it worse is that my own mother wont be wearing anywhere near as nice of a dress and my father, who is also my minister, wont be in coordinating colors. So, they are going to stand out like sore thumbs with how fancy they will look and it is driving me nuts! Why can’t she just wear a simple dress in any color but my EXACT colors? And why does her husband have to match the BM? She is buying the dress tomorrow and no I can’t convince her otherwise. She is giving us way too much money for the wedding for me to bitch to her about it. Ugg… Am I just being a bridezilla or am I somewhat justified in feeling like this?
ETA: I think maybe it wouldn’t be as big of a deal if it weren’t for the fact that his mother usually tries to make herself stand out a little too much and the fact that my mother doesn’t have much money so she can’t possibly find a dress even close to the formality of Future Mother-In-Law. And her birthday is the day before so she has already made comments like how our wedding cake is going to actually be wedding/birthday cake and how she really wants Happy birthday sung to her… Sorry. HELL NO! You have already had 53 of these days. We only get this one! So, it might be a bunch of things leading up to my frustration and now I may have just picked this one thing to focus on but really… My BM’s will be in black with teal accents except for the Maid/Matron of Honor who will have purple accents. She is wearing a vibrant purple, strapless, form fitting bridesmaid dress… ugh…
Post # 3
I think that is ridiculous! this kind of think kind of urkes my turtle
Post # 4
Its your mom’s choice to not wear “as nice a dress”. Maybe she will want to get a different dress now. She wants to look good for the wedding and make sure she coordinates it. Other people would be furious at their Future Mother-In-Law if they chose a color that clashed.
IF she looks weird, then others will notice she looks weird or is trying to hard and that will not reflect on you, only her.
Post # 5
Pardon me but yeah, you’re being bridezilla.
I wore the exact same dress as the BM’s once. EXACT same… no I didn’t want to but still I felt to an utter freggin’ idiot. I’m sure everyone else thought I was one too.
She’ll look like the idiot, let her be.
Post # 6
hmm.. I think you are being a bridezilla. I think she just wants to look nice and have your pictures look nice. If your parents are not in coordinating colors they will stand out for obvious reasons.. I have never heard of someone going dressed too nicely at a wedding..
Post # 7
But I do think you have a little tunnel vision going on. Future Mother-In-Law just seems enthusiastic–she probably thinks it’s honoring and respecting your vision by matching (I think it’s kind of cute, really).
This is your FMIL? You can’t tell her to change what she’s going to wear, unless it’s too short or too low-cut, see-through or white. But expensive and fancy is sort of her choice. I don’t think that your mother will look any more or less special–everyone just has their own style. Plus, no one will even remember what the MOB and MOG look like!
I say, take a deep breath and give it a few days. I don’t think it’ll matter as much to you with some distance.
Post # 8
What color is it?
Honestly, I really don’t think it matters what your Future Mother-In-Law wears & I think you are heated in the moment. Take a few deep breaths and stop thinking about it for the day. If she in some crazy fancy dress and no one else is – she’s the one who will stick out like a sore thumb. Unfortunately, you don’t have a lot of control over her or any other guest wears (outside of the bridal party). If they choose to be matchy, matchy – there isn’t a whole lot you can do. My Mother-In-Law bought hand corsages for herself and her daughter – I didn’t notice on the day of the wedding, but had a good laugh at the pictures (especially since we had a hand-held bouquet for her). Ah, MIL’s -it’s sometimes better for one’s mental health to let the non-important stuff roll off your back. Keep the war for the major things.
Post # 9
I would expect the MOB and MOG to wear nice dresses, even nicer ones than the BMs. I mean, the BMs are paying like $125 for their dress, my mom is probably going to buy a $500 dress, of course it will be nicer! The MOB and MOG should wear something nice, they are technically in the wedding party. I don’t see why they can’t coordinate. As long as she’s not buying the same exact dress, who cares?
Post # 10
This is just my experience… there are some things you can control and some you can’t. It’s sounds like you’ve expressed your opinion to her. Now it’s her turn to act on that information – she can either go along with what you say or not. Either way, it’s her decision and there isn’t really anything you can do about it.
I had frustrating situations like this too, and what I learned was that I had to focus on things that are really important to us like making sure family would be able to be at our wedding and preparing to enter marriage.
Post # 11
At the end of the day, she can wear whatever she wants. Matching or not matching, fancy or not fancy.
But it does seem a bit of an odd decision, on her part. If it really is out of place, the guests will notice, and like PPs have said, it will be her that looks silly. Also, your mom shouldn’t be embarassed because she isn’t as fancy-pants as Future Mother-In-Law wants to be. Just reassure your mom that she looks appropriate. Besides, how many pics will ALL of you be in anyways? I can’t imagine there will be that many.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t call you a bridezilla, because weddings are stressful and everyone fixates on something and can’t move past it. I think you’re just stressing. Honestly, she’s giving you money, she can wear what she wants. My parents are paying for mine, and sometimes you just have to give in. Fight the battles you need to, and let her choose her wardrobe.
Post # 13
You are being a Bridezilla.
This is a very important day for the Mother of the Groom too, plus she has put so much money into the wedding. Why on earth would it matter if she looked nicer than the bridal party? I think you should be pleased that she is making such an effort to find something beautiful to wear to your wedding.
Post # 14
a friend of mine got married straight outta college, and her mother couldn’t find anything except a dress in ivory (same color as the wedding gown) and her MIL’s dress ended up matching the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses color exactly only it was a nicer dress… I have to say looking at the wedding pictures, they all looked great, no one stood out and it didn’t look weird. Even in the family portrait, it actually kinda looked nice to have everyone in ivory/cornflower/or black(tux)…
Post # 15
I wouldn’t worry about the “quality” of the dress. My mom wore a REALLY fancy dress while my Mother-In-Law wore a nice dress. It worked out FINE. There are only very few pictures with both of them in it.
If you want to try to get her to wear a different color then maybe come up with some good accent color suggestions. Finding a MIL/MOB dress is hard. Giving her lots of color choices is a good thing. There really aren’t a lot of dresses that don’t look too young (aka like a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress) or really old lady which no mother wants to look like.
Also, I wouldn’t worry about the guys so much either. Suits/Tuxes all look pretty much the same in pictures.
Post # 16
bridezilla 🙂 haha, I write that jokingly. you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. in the grand scheme of themes, the color of her outfit isn’t that important! 🙂