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I can definitely see her wanting to be with her husband on that day, BUT I think that telling him he can't be a groomsman is taking it too far! He should be able to do it if he wants to - it's something that will mean a lot to both him and your FI.
I can sort of see her point, but presumably there will be other people around who can be her support during the (short) ceremony. I think she should mostly be very pleased that her son and husband get along so well, and that her son wants his father to be a GM. That is a really lovely thing and I think it's a bit sad she doesn't see it that way.
I can see her point. You could probably compromise. The wedding party doesn't have to stand up with the bride and groom during the ceremony. Mine will be seated. So FFIL can sit with FMIL during the ceremony and still be a GM.
I think she is being selfish. If her son wants his dad in the wedding then he should be in the wedding. What an honor it is to be ask by your son to be put in the wedding ans she is denying him of that. I would understand her point better if she had no other family members there. How sad this is for your FI :(
I think she is being selfish, but I think you should stay out of it. This is something that needs to be worked out between a husband and wife. If anyone can push the issue it's your fiance their son. Tread carefully since she is emotional, and just let his family come to an agreement
She's not being unfair to your FI, she is being unfair to her husband. Most sons wouldn't even CONSIDER having a parent stand up for them as a groomsman so the fact that your FI wants his father to do so is a testament to the strong bond the two of them share. However, don't put yourself into the middle of this situation. This is something that is between your future in-laws. You don't want to create potential bad blood down the line...
I am probably in the minority thinking she's not being selfish and I do see her point. I would want my parents to be parents of the brides and not part of my wedding party, i.e. maid or groomsman. She's the mother of the groom, and she wants to have her husband to sit together and witness the marriage of their son, who they raised together. I'd imagine she'd want to hold hands with him or something during the ceremony, and it just wouldn't be the same holding her other kids' hands. :P So, imo, I don't think she's unreasonable for her desire, but she doesn't have the right to refuse for the father, either. (So I don't agree with her in saying no, because no one asked her to make a decision :P)
HOWEVER, the groom should get to have what he wants, too, as it is his wedding day. It's really up to the father to say yes or not. Would he rather sit with the mom or stand next to the groom? Or, a compromise that the father sits down during the ceremony and still participate other groomsmen activities. Up to the dad!
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FI asked his dad if he would be a groomsmen (they are really close and talk every day). FMIL said no, he can't be a groomsmen because she wants him to sit by her during the ceremony.
I completely understand and respect what she is saying. She is pretty emotional so I'm sure she wants him by her side. But her brother and the rest of the family will also be there.
FI simply asked his dad to be in the party because he's like one of his best friends and he wants him by his side. It would only be for like 30 minutes and then she can have FFIL by her side the rest of the night.
Does she have a valid point and I'm being totally irrational or is she kind of being unfair to FI?