- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
My FMIL is the church going lady that also happens to be very abrasive and miserable. She’s overweight and not looking forward to finding a dress for the wedding. To make matters worse, I (in excitment), showed her a pic of my mom in her dress and her obnoxious reaction was “thats it, Im not going” Yes, my mom is 10 yrs younger than her, attractve and slim but I didnt deserve to hear that. Its not my problem or my moms problem that she is unhappy with herself. Anyway, I let it go.
Christmas comes and my mom joins us at my fiances families house. My mom and I are standng at the kitchen island 5 mins after arrival and FMIL comes up to me and says “It’s Kathleen, not Kathy!” harsh, rude and as always abrasive. I didnt know where this came from, but I presumed it was because I had sent her an email a few weeks back (which she never responded to) and I decided after almost 3 years to finally start calling her by her first names rather than “Nana”, like the grandkids call her or “Mrs….”, like I did when we first started dating. There was never a question in my mind of what to call her. I know my fiance calls her Kathleen as a joke and he has specifically told me she goes by Kathy. Honestly, I have heard her called both but presumed the less formal would work. Anyway, she continues on a rant about who calls her this and who calls her that and my mom and I are just standing here dumbfounded. It was rude, it was embarassing that she did it in font of my mother and it ruined my Christmas. She could have easily responded bck to my email or taken me aside.
Apparently, my fiance caught the tail end of the confrontation and saw my moms shocked face. On the way home at the end of the night he asked what happened and we told him. I otherwise wouldnt have brought it up in front of my mom. He says she is probably jealous of my mom and feeling bad about herself and this is how its coming out and to ignore it. I dont want to say anything at this point becasue she probably didnt even realize how upset it made me, but its really affected how I feel about her and my finace he concerned because he assures me that she loves me and would hate to think she made me upset. The worst part is now my mom (who doesnt forgive and forget as easily) has these negative feelings towards her to. I’m just nervous about whats to come! Has anyone had to deal with this sort of situation?