(Closed) FMIL issues and seating for wedding

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

FI’s FMIL is causing the same drama with our wedding. We will be seating her at a different table than we would have, moving the rest of the relatives away from her, but we will not make any other accommodations. We told her that we would be inviting everyone and it would be her choice to miss out as a result. I invited the relatives she hates to my shower, she chose to decline the invitation to the shower. We invited the relatives to the rehearsal dinner, she said she wouldn’t come if they were there. We will not be held hostage to her immaturity. The only reason we’re sitting her elsewhere for the reception is upon the request of the other relatives. 

Post # 5
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If she storms off and makes a scene it will only reflect poorly on her, not you. My mantra for dealing with my FMIL when she throws a tantrum: “Her loss!”

Post # 6
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

i would make her deal with it for the ceremony, but let her know you will seat her somewhere far away for the dinner.

Post # 8
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

FI should be the one to have this conversation with her, and he needs to be blunt. FMIL does not need to be buddy with anyone but the wedding does not revolve around her. She needs to suck it up and so do the other two if they’re troublemakers as well.

I know someone who had two divorced parents that were coming to his wedding with their new husband and wife. The divorced parents don’t get along at all. He sat them down and told them in no uncertain terms that they were going to be on their best behavior, period. He did not want any drama to mar he and his wife’s big day. Wedding and reception went off without a hitch.

Post # 10
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@seprice7:  Sounds like a plan to me!

Post # 12
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think her son needs to be the one to talk to her. Hopefully he can convince her to be civil for one day for her own son’s wedding. And as for the rehearsal dinner, is she paying for it? Because that could be awkward but if she is not paying for it then you and your FI decide who gets invited.

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