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Was she diagnosed with Bipolar I or II? I'm Bipolar II, and if you want to PM me to talk about it, I'd be more than happy to.
It's not like you see on TV, I swear. There are so many different ranges and varieties of it.
Bipolar I is more typically the stuff they show on tv shows-- people throwing shit, psychotic episodes, all of that. Bipolar II is more periods of depression/mania. (Mania is not necessarily like they show in the ads/on tv either. Mine would just be a lack of sleep, irresponsible choices, and overspending. Nobody would have noticed).
If she is well then she should be fine with your daughter. Having BPAD doesn't mean that you automatically become a danger to herself or others. Bipolar disorder means that you have phases of being high in mood and low in mood. It can be managed well with meds. Hopefully, now she has a correct diagnosis she can get herself the right treatment and be well to enjoy your wedding and look after your daughter.
@scissors- Im not sure what stage but I will find out, so what if its bipolar 1?
I've never met anyone before that was bipolar, so you cant tell at all if someone has it?
She should be fine, but you should probably have someone checking in on them anyway.
As to whether or not you can tell...nope! My dad has it and his mother refuses to believe there's anything wrong, even though he's attempted to commit suicide, spent time in SP, and stuff like that. It's because, for the most part, life is normal and it's manageable. What would worry me is if she were starting to take medication for it around the time she'd be babysitting.
Bipolar I isn't a stage, it's a type. It's not a progressive thing, just different varieties.
I agree with Scissors, there is a WIDE range of behavior that falls into the category of Bipolar (although Bipolar I doesn't necessarily mean that she's more impaired or more dangerous).
Mental illness doesn't mean that she's going to suddenly become "crazy" or become a danger to herself/others. She may begin taking medication, which might make her sleepy or have other side effects, and may affect her ability to drive, ,for example. But it doesn't make her any less fitting a babysitter for your daughter. It's definitely understandable that you're nervous; I would seek out all the information you can find, and see if there are any support groups in your area for friends/family of people with mental illness.
Usually it is a mood thing that doesn't make sense unless you spend A LOT of time with someone. It's sometimes hard to recognize the big swings from highs and lows if you only see the person occasionally or in situations that don't have a "trigger" for a mood change. I really wouldn't be concerned about your daughter unless for FMIL has a history of being violent. Talk to your FI about how she reacts---he probably can describe things from growing up that will give you a pretty good look at the effect it has on her.
If she's taking medication on a regular basis, she's most likely going to be fine. And scissors is right, bipolar isn't like they make it out to be in the movies.
Unless you were concerned with her being alone with your toddler BEFORE her diagnosis, I don't think you have much to worry about after. Does she have a history of violence?
My sister has been diagnosed with having Bipolar disorder and raised three children, so I voted yes. She loves her grandbaby right? If you are this concerned maybe you should talk with her doctor about it. While he can't give you any specifics about her condition, maybe he can make a recommendation as to whether or not he thinks this is a good idea.
Oh, this sounds like it is really scary for you. Please don't panic! There is a huge range of variation in the individual symptoms that people have with both types. You cannot say 'yay' or 'nay' just on the basis of the diagnosis.
Your FMIL just got diagnosed, but do you know if the behaviors leading to her diagnosis are anything new? Lots of people go years and years without being diagnosed because they are quite high functioning. I have a good friend with Bipolar disorder and I would absolutely trust her to babysit. A person with Bipolar experiences mood variations, but it's not like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde---they won't suddenly go on a rampage and hurt your child. Your FMIL is very likely exactly the same person with this diagnosis this week as she was last week before you knew about it. If you trusted her to babysit then, then you should still be able to trust her now. A diagnosis doesn't change who she is; it just puts her in a better position to get therapy (whether drug or talk or both). I would base your decision on what you know of your FMIL and what your fiance knows of her, not on this diagnosis.
She has never been violent before, she just gets in alot of verbal fights with her daughter which is normal for mother's and daughters. She has a long history of depression and she blames it all on his dad and the fact that he cheated and ruined 15 years of an all-american happy family. I dont know much about her behavior the last time i've seen her was about 6 months ago and she was very depressed
Especially since your wedding isn't til May; that's plenty of time for her to take and adjust to medication, if she is given meds. I think she would be perfectly fine to babysit, unless, as lampshade said, she has a history of violence or acting in appropriately.
She will probably be okay watching your daughter, but I am not a doctor. I think that you should have a talk with your FI, just to voice your concerns. Ask him if he thinks he should talk to her doctor, to make sure that everything will be okay. Since he is her son, he should be able to get some information, even if he has to ask the doctor "Hypothetically speaking..."
Can I ask if your FMIL is an older woman- say over 45-50ish. I'd like to point out that she has probably not jsut developed the illness out of thin air and probably had it on and off most of her life.
I would think that if you were happy to leave your child with her before this diagnosis was made, then there is nothing to stop you leaving her with it now.
People have asked if she has had a history of violence. I assume that she would not as nobody would leave their child in the care of somebody violent, diagnosed with BPAD or not.
My aunt was recently diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and while it was at first, completely devastating (especially since we werent sure what that really meant), she's been in therapy & is taking medication, and honestly shes the same person that she ever was. I would have no problem leaving my child with her (if I had one).
The diagnosis hasn't changed who she is or how she acts. It has just categorized who she is and how she acts under a certain name.
It sounds like you don't know her well but your FI should know what a manic episode looks like for her (unless the diagnosis is completely incorrect and bogus). If she is bipolar she has been bipolar so FI knows how she is and if she's capable of babysitting a child.
There are plenty of people who aren't bipolar that I wouldn't leave with my child if I had any choice because they are irresponsible or otherwise not good caregivers. Those should still be the same criteria, mental illness or no. I would assume that you thought she's be a good caretaker before you learned of the diagnosis. Did you have doubts before then?
My FMIL suffers from diagnosed bi-polar disorder. Honestly, it's no big if she has her meds straightened out. I've seen her in manic/depressive states and she would be completely capable of taking care of a child!! (I'm not sure that I would LET her---it'd be a lot on her) But I would not be concerned of anything happening to the child. Just say something! Without making her feel like a freak--she probably is scared and feels like a "odd ball" after thie diagnosis....don't add to that. Just say "hey, you've been through a lot lately, are you sure you're up to watching Susie this week?" And be sure to leave her with a back up plan, "Hey, if you get to tired or whatever, call my friend Jenn, she can come pick up Susie in a flash"
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We just got a phone call the other day from FMIL and she told FI that she was diagnosed with Bipolar. I just did a little bit of research and it seems pretty serious and scary. We offered her any support she needed but its hard because she lives in another state. She has dealt with depression ever since her divorce with his father. I feel so bad and dont know what I can really do to help. The big problem is that she is going to babysit my 1 year old daughter when we go away on our honeymoon for 7 nights, is she capable of doing so? SHould I leave someone with this condition with my baby? I know she loves her granddaughter to death and would never hurt her, but a condition is a condition. Help please! Im scared if I ask FI he will get upset with me