Weddingbee boards

Ok, a little background... my FH and I moved last year from Philly to Seattle.  I accepted a job out here.

Well, him and his mom are close and it was a whole ordeal when we moved. She kept making us guilty for leaving. I actually don't have a strong relationship with her anymore because of how needy she was.  I would understand if my FH was an only child but he has a younger brother.   I understand she's close to him but he's 26 and we can't live by her our entire lives. (Oh, this move was hard for me too because I left my family and friends too in Philly.)

Anyway, I think we've grown stronger by moving away and being on our own.  Instead of relying on what family and friends think, we actually have become more independent. 

And this isn't going to be permanently. We are planning on moving back to the east coast after I get my degree.

Anyway, so she's been talking to him about the songs she want our DJ to mix for their mother son dance.

This is what my FH told the DJ

For the Mother Son Dance:  As we walk out to the dance floor- a short faded clip of Mama Told Me Not To Come by Three Dog Night or You Better Shop Around.  Once we're on the floor and ready to dance the first 30 sec of Blue Eyes by Elton John, right up to the first line.  "Blue Eyes, Baby's Got Blue Eyes ... Like a Blue Blue Sea On A Blue, Blue Day" ... then there is a good few seconds of music that you can fate out of that and into Blessed by Elton John.  Finally once the dance is over my Mom wanted to play a short short short clip of a Kenny Chesney song: There Goes My Life, where he sings, "...he checked the oil, slammed the hood, said you're good ... and headed off to the west coast ... he cried, there goes my life"  Please cut it off completely after "there goes my life" because he immediately sings something else that's irrelevant to the wedding.

I don't mind the songs but the one song that I would particullarly not have is the Kenny Chesney song.  It's like she is once again upset by the fact that we moved. I don't know why she wants that part... yes I bet when we moved away, she listened to that song all the time.  I think it just dampens the mood of the wedding.  I don't know if this is the right cliche... but it's like she's putting salt in my wound. I already know how hard it was for her son to move away but really??

I know, I don't really have a say because it is their song and not mine.  I just know that I'm going to be sitting there on my wedding day, dreading to hear this Kenney Chesney song. 

I guess I'm just venting... it's just something that I can't really do anything about and I'm going to have to get over it... it's only a few seconds long....

That sounds awful.  Those songs are going to sound like a mess all mixed together and people are going to be confused.  I agree with PPs...talk to FI, and hopefully you can just blame the DJ and tell her to pick one song.  You'll have to deal with whatever song she picks, unfortunately, but it will be better than her suggested idea.

Also, you might want your fiance to pick one of those songs and be prepared to say to his mom, "I really wanted to dance with you to XXXX".  That might sway her a bit.

Has the DJ responded to this wacky request?

I told him that what I felt and also about the whole song "you better shop around".

He also says I'm just being b@$&(y about it considering that her and I don't get along. This wedding planning has broken me and FMIL apart and I had to keep her out of the planning process. I wish I didn't have to but she was getting to be too much and it was causing FH and I to fight. We were close to calling off the wedding because of her. 

I was little erked by the "you better shop around" song too... but my FH says that its just a title of the song and it's not as bad as it sounds.  He says it a classic oldies song played at weddings. I don't know.

My FH is letting his mom do her thing and he says that this is their moment together and this is why he's letting her have all these songs. 

He spoke to the DJ a few weeks ago tellling him that his mom wants to do a medley of songs. The DJ said that was fine. I don't know what the DJ will think now that he has to mesh 4 songs together. Hopefully, he'll realize that its going to be harder than he thought.

BYW, I'm dancing to one song... Butterfly kisses for my father daughter dance.

It may be your FMILs dance but it is most definitely YOUR wedding. She would be able to pick any song she like so long as it wasn't blatantly disrespectful to you but it would be just that...ONE song. All of that fading in and fading out is too much for a 3 minute dance. Is she planning on dancing the night away with YOUR husband? Sheesh...

...I didn't see your last post until I had already posted mine. It also looks like you need to have a LONG talk to your FI about where his new priorities lie...beside him...and not with his mom. The day is supposed to be about the two of you..not his mom and her "empty nest" syndrome.

Oh, and there's also some songs that she want to to play for her boyfriend and also she want to dance with him to another slow song.  I told him that there are songs that we both wanted to play and I asked the DJ how many slow songs we should play and he said a couple.   I don't know if he's going to play the songs that we want and her songs plus any requests that other guest want.  Also, it really up to the DJ to play what he wants because if no one is dancing... why are we paying him.

Ok, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that since she hasn't really been in involved in the wedding process that maybe she thinks she should go all out this mother son dance.

Also, I kinda wanted to do a generation dance too.. and I know that this is a slow song... The number of slow songs at this wedding that we want versus how many we can play is getting really tiny.

Ohhhhh, no no no.  You should definitely not let her pick songs for her boyfriend and then more songs for her to dance with her son.  That is out of control.  Plus you don't even get to "pick" that many songs.  I think our DJ said we could pick 20-25.  This woman sounds seriously deluded. 

@ flamingred  LOL That is so funny.  LOL

Oh, I just email my DJ just asking if he thinks he can do the medley of songs. I don't want the DJ to think I'm going to be one of 'those' brides who control everything.

I did tell him that I would prefer that he not include the "you better shop around" song because I read the lyrics and I don't think it is wedding appropriate.

I also did ask the DJ if he can record it so we can get a taste of what it will sound like.

I didn't bring up the Kenny Chesney part at this point.  I didn't want to get all into it.

OMG. I just read the lyrics to "momma told me not come" and they aren't any better either.  What the hell is she thinking?

I don't know if your FI realizes it or not, but every one of her song selections is a dig at you. I would be shouting down the house right about now...LOL! You are much calmer than I would be.